Love Will Rise.

Day 3

2012-02-10T18:26:00.000-08:00

The Iowa-Illinois team started our morning with devotions at the prayer rock. The all but 4 on our team headed to a mountain village to distribute 2 water purification units and to do a VBS. (The Jones family set out for their day to meet their sponsored child in another town). We headed up the dirt mountain road....about an hour drive.
We had a skillful driver....one section of the road was washed out on both side with JUST enough room for us to get through....too far to the left, or too far to the right would not of been good. When we arrived at the village, Jeremy and Dan taught some locals how to use the water purification units, the training went well.
The units make chlorine to be used to purify the water. We then met the kids during their recess. They were not has joyful to meet us as the kids were near or mission compound. Some have never seen a white person and they were quite shy. We handed out jump ropes and taught them how to jump, some caught on quickly and the smiles came out. Also soccer balls were given out to the kids. After recess we went to each classroom for a VBS lesson. The story (through our interpreter) of Abraham and Isaac was acted out (Genesis 22). The thought of a father sacrificing his son was a little too much for a few of the pre-school girls...until they understood it was just acting. We also handed out pinwheels that we made. We talked about how we live by faith and not by sight (2 Cor 5:7) and compared how we can not see the wind, but can feel it and see the effects of it, to how we can not see God, but we can see how he cares for us and loves us. Before we left, we saw lots of smiling faces.
We returned to the Mission after eating our PB&J in the back of the truck...amazing how good they tasted. After a break at the Mission, we continued to work on clearing the storage shed and sorting through hundreds of shoes looking for their match. In the end, we felt like we had accomplished much.
Just before supper, the long- awaited news came that the Kids Against Hunger meals had arrived in a nearby village. This was good news because food had been getting low. 5 of our team members left to unload the food and did not return for 2 1/2 hours. They are back now and all is good. We are tired, but it is a good tired!

The One with Death and Life.

2012-02-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago, a little girl ended up on our porch.

She had the face of an angel and was suffering beyond what I could imagine.

She was very malnourished and straining to breath.

I gave her some milk and the caretaker money to get her to the hospital right away.

She went to the hospital but it was too late.

She died that night.

This beautiful child of God was only 4 years old.

We can't always save everyone that ends up on our porch

and this reality breaks my heart.

[But I know she is dancing with Jesus

and that is far better than anything this planet has to offer.]

There is hope in salvation.

Without the cross, there is nothing.

Living in Haiti is a constant reminder of that.

I don't know how people live without eternal hope.

The exciting thing is there are some people the Lord allows us to help save.

Like baby Dabens - aka "David".

He came to us at 3 months old weighing 3 pounds.

He surpassed the odds of death and is now 5 months old.

Watching him grow and seeing Jesus at work in his tiny life has been such a joy and blessing!

God must have big plans for this child!

When Dabens first came to us at 3 months.

Now, at 5 months. He looks like a cute, healthy baby!

Before Jean Fritz could only look at Dabens.

Now, he gets to hold him- something he LOVES!

Finding Nourishment and Love.

2012-01-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

Last week we visited one of the orphanages Lifeline provides food for in Port-au-Prince with a medical team. We hadn’t been there since October and were sad to find the children still in poor condition. We have concerns about dishonesty going on within the system and sadly, the children suffer for this. Please be in prayer for this situation.

Junior is a small, 7-year-old boy living at the orphanage. He is one of the more malnourished children and clearly needs proper nutrient care. On Tuesday, Jacques drove me to the orphanage again to take Junior to the hospital. The doctor was not in at 2 in the afternoon so I decided to bring him back to Lifeline. In the hour car ride back, he sat on my lap and I was terrified if I held him too hard I would break a rib, but if I didn’t hold hard enough he would fly off my lap from the bumpy roads; but as we sat there I had a strong feeling he would be at Lifeline with us for a while.

Once back at the mission, we (Adrian, Candice, Donald, Osmy, and I) quickly decided it was best for Junior to stay with us for we would be giving him the same care a hospital would (we have a doctor here 5 days a week if we need anything), plus we would give him love and constant attention.

Just to give you an idea of his size—he wears Jean Fritz’s clothes and weighs the exact same amount as Jean Fritz. They weigh 31 pounds and wear size 2T pants and 3T shirts. Junior is 7 and Jean Fritz is 2. They are 5 years apart…

It’s been a mere 4 days since Junior came to stay with us and we put him on a eating/hydration plan and we have already seen significant improvement! Adrian is playing soccer with him right now and I can see him running around on the soccer field. He could barely keep his eyes open when he first came.

He smiles a lot now too. He takes joy in such little things, like bath time and being read to (even though he can’t understand English).

The pictures are from the second day he was here, as you can see he still wasn't smiling a lot.

Jean Fritz and Junior

Please be praying for Junior as he finds nourishment and love. Also, please be in prayer for his future as it is unknown.

2 years later. 12-Jan-12

2012-01-12T19:53:00.000-08:00

300,000 people lost their lives this day exactly 2 years ago.
As I go through the streets of Port-au-Prince the physical damage is still obvious.
Rubble still sits in lots,
tents of the displaced line the city,
people live and use whatever collapsed portions of buildings they can,
and areas of piled concrete sit abandoned as a reminder of the day that changed this country.

Haiti has come far in the rebuilding process,
but they had far to go before the earthquake-
they were the poorest country in this hemisphere before the earthquake,
now consider the poverty level after as they slowly recover.

But here is the good news,
God is the man with a plan!
He sent Jesus as THE redeemer and will redeem this land.

Watch the video of Haitian music artists and Haiti's president
(he was a popstar before he was president)
I think it says it all perfectly.

World premiere HMI STARS 7.0 Official Music Video [HD]

The Road Less Traveled

2012-01-11T17:11:00.000-08:00

Somehow 2 months have passed since I last updated this.
I have so much to say- so much has happened.
The time passes so fast and I am often too exhausted and/or distracted to type.

And now I sit here attempting to reflect on the past 2 months
and there are not enough words to describe my thoughts, feelings, and adventures.

I am absolutely falling in love with this land and these people.
More so than I expected.
God has given me a heart for this place and I am so joyful I get to live here!

And it is only because of God I am here.
I distinctly remember when I was 12 saying I would never be a missionary.
Then God helped me understand my compassion and gave me a huge heart for missions.
My freshman year of college one of my classmates went to Haiti for his internship,
I clearly remember thinking I didn't want to live in Haiti because it's too close to the US.
(Yes, I was a spoiled brat who enjoys traveling a little too much)

Then 2 years ago tomorrow, the earthquake happened where over a million and a half people were displaced and roughly 300,000 people died.

I clearly remember where I was when I first heard about the earthquake.
I was in Iowa visiting my parents.
As the news continued to cover stories, I just sat in front of the TV weeping.
I remember feeling like I belonged in Haiti, like I had a weird connection to the country.
[Even though I said I would never live here because it's on this side of the world (ridiculous thought)]
At one point I was up in my room just thinking about everything happening and
so I walked down to the kitchen and told my dad I had to go to Haiti.
He said no.
But God had other plans.
[A year and a half later, I moved to Haiti.
And 2 years later, my mom, dad, and a brother came to visit]

God clearly ignored my idea of the way I wanted to live,
but He called me to live a better life than I could have even imagined.
He's allowing me to be apart of so many amazing peoples' lives,
given me so much joy, and immensely blessed me here in Haiti.

Walking in Haiti.

My dad in Haiti!

Suffering and Heartbreak.

2011-11-14T04:39:00.000-08:00

I've been heartbroken and devastated by poverty, malnutrition, and orphans.
I've spent time amongst it before, but I've never focused so much of my personal time on it-
attempting to follow Jesus through it.
Jesus is using Clayson, a hurting orphan, to break parts of my soul I didn't know exist.
Clayson is about 6 or 7 and very sick.
He has little emotion,
speaks bare minimum,
and has barely any energy.
The 3 of us girls took care of him for 4 days last week.
He is pitiful.
It took a lot of work, but we got him to smile and dance (awkwardly).
It was such a gift to see him smile a simple smile.
The kind I so easily take for granted.
Honestly, I think he has been sick for so long he doesn't know what it is to be a normal, playful little boy.

Dancing with Jean Fritz

We are attempting to figure our what is eating away at his tiny body in order to get him the treatment he needs.
The doctor at the local hospital has run several tests and nothing comes up.
He is negative for HIV, praise the Lord.
He still has a few more tests here, but the doctor thinks he needs to see a specialist.

The first night we had him,
Adrian and I were getting Jean Fritz and Clayson ready for bed.
I was changing Clayson's clothes and saw his tiny skeletal frame holding his body together
and something deep within me broke.
I cried.
This innocent boy hasn't even had a chance at life and he has already been through so much.
He's lost his daddy and his mommy,
being left alone in this scary world with his sister.
And yet, his pain continues.
Something is slowly eating away at his tiny body
and it's not fair.

Getting X-rays

Clayson's hurting body

Whenever he would cling tight to me with fear I held him tighter, afraid to let go.
Constantly afraid he can so easily slip away forever.

Pray for Clayson and for wisdom for the doctors.

Me, Jean Fritz, and Clayson. Clayson was fascinated by the computer.

This is his smile.

Peace.

Akim and Ensel go to Port.

2011-11-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

We took 2 of our younger boys with us to Port-au-Prince a couple weeks ago.
Akim and Ensel.
It was their first time to the city.
They were very excited and stood up on the bus looking out the window the entire time.
Haiti is their country and yet I've seen way more of it than they have.
I've lived here for only 5 weeks and they've lived here their entire lives- 12 years
and yet, they have never seen their capital until we brought them along.
Being with them was very humbling.

Sitting on the bus- this lasted for 5 minutes.

Ensel looking out the window.

The Island Adventure.

2011-10-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

It's just impossible to get bored living in Haiti.

It's just one adventure after adventure.

Some days/moments require complete faith in God that His will will be done.

Like living to see another day.

So here is the scoop on the latest adventure...

We currently have a medical team visiting for the week doing clinics.

Lifeline has connections to a missionary pastor on the island off of the mainland.

It was decided we should go to La Gonave to set up a clinic as they have never had doctors come before.

So Wednesday morning I set my alarm to wake up at 3am to get this team out the door on time.

And then I pressed snooze until 3:30am.

We made it on Haitian time.

However, I should have known what type of day it was going to be when I got whacked in the head going 65 mph down the highway by a thick plastic storage lid on the way to the dock...

EARLY morning boat ride.

We loaded the boat just as the sun began to rise.

The ride to the island was a very long 2 hours.

It was rough waters and I got seasick.

People kept telling me I looked green.

I was miserable.

I puked.

But no help.

The water splashed overboard several times and since I was already wet,

I decided to lie my head down hanging over with my arm dragging in the Caribbean sea.

As I laid there miserable, I had 2 thoughts running through my head.

1-I should just jump in.

2-How in the world did Jesus get me in this mess?

oh, and a 3rd thought- what if a shark just bit my arm off right now? or now? or now? etc.

I was eventually so exhausted and miserable I think Jesus allowed me to fall asleep right like that:

hanging off the side of the boat.

I dreamed and everything.

When I woke up, we were arriving to the island!

All I could say was Praise the Lord!

4 vehicles were waiting for us when we arrived.

2 trucks and 2 SUVs.

There were roughly 20-25 of us and a lot of supplies.

Those vehicles did not look like they should be driving, let alone where we about to go.

However, the rules (and commonsense) in Haiti are more of like guidelines.

We loaded the supplies, crammed the vehicles with the younger ones and the older ones, and the rest of us sat on top of the supplies in the back of the 2 trucks.

There were only 5 of us on the back of my truck, but there was a lot of supplies.

Sitting on top of the truck against the cab.

A layer of coolers, bins, and then the front part where Candice and I sat had a layer of suitcases to top it off.

It was fine at first.

But than again that's because we were in town.

Little did we know we had to climb through the mountains for 2 hours on roads some ATVs wouldn't even want to go on.

I was jostled and bounced every which way.

Not all the suitcases were secure.

And as you can imagine, they slid around.

It was a battle we never could win.

The other truck.

There were times the truck was tipping one way and than another and I had to hold balance because I didn't have anything attached to the truck to hold onto.

There was a Haitian man that would sometimes grab onto me because he thought I was going over board (Candice too at points).

But I wasn't.

In fact his hand would linger.

Candice and I decided he just wanted an excuse to touch the white girls.

We came to a point in the path where we were nearing the top of the mountain and the "road" was at a tilted angle.

The road was nothing but some mud and grass.

Well, the truck began to slide sideways.

As the truck slid, all the luggage was sliding.

Which means all the people began to go with the luggage.

As the truck slid off the mountain and the supplies was sliding with gravity and we too were going with.

We all just knew we were going to die.

And I'm not exaggerating.

What a crappy way to die- in a truck rolling over the side of a mountain.

The church

But somehow we didn't roll over and die.

By the grace of the Lord did we survive.

I guess He isn't done with us yet.

We held a clinic at the school in the mountains once we arrived (alive).

I smothered cremes and medicines on kids, babys, and adults with things like scabies and ringworm all day.

It was a blessing to get to be apart of this.
It's also a reminder of what a blessing it is I grew up in America.
Most of these children and parents had never even seen a doctor.

We stayed with pastor Benis.

View of the Caribbean

He, his wife and 3 children graciously hosted us.
They were wonderful hosts.
Pastor Benis grew up in the village but moved to the US where he went on to receive his masters.
He met his wife in the.
She is from Queens, NY.
A few years ago, he was feeling like he needed to help his people.
Long story short, that led them to moving to his home village last February as missionary's.
They are a wonderful family and have already done so much through God's strength.

The next morning we set out to go back to Lifeline.
I was in the same truck again.
This time we realized the back wheels were held on my rope.
That's always comforting to see.

Bags of charcoal.

The back of the truck was full of plastic bins and 3 large bags of charcoal.

But this time there were only 4 of us in the back of the truck.

Nothing was too stable and the charcoal was just annoying. Not too long into the ride we randomly stopped and picked up a lady and her baby.

Things were crowded and my legs were getting squished between the tubs and the truck.

I have bruises all over them now.

And my bottom and arms too from hitting down when we would go over the large rocks.

At some point I must have hit my head because I have a big bump and a bruise on it.

It feels great...

By the time we got to the part of the road with the sideways slant on the cliff of the mountain, we all knew it was going to make for an interesting time.

The mother was on the wrong side.

Fortunately I was on the other side holding on, attempting to not fall on anyone.

I can't speak Creole but when the mama started talking I knew exactly what she was saying.

She was asking for someone to grab the baby because she was about to go over and needed both hands to hold on for dear life.

I managed to let go and grab the baby just in time.

We all made it through alive again.

Praise Jesus!

The baby lady never took the baby back though.

So I somehow sat on the side of the truck holding onto the baby for a long time.

I was trying to protect the baby from low tree branches as well as holding on so we didn't go flying off.

I'm not sure how I always find myself in situations like this, but at least I have fun in the process.

We eventually got a flat tire.

When I jumped out I passed the baby to Candice who was sitting in the front of the cab.

Once the tire was fixed it was time to climb back on and bounce around for another hour.

We made it to the coast and back on board the boat.

I was dreading this part.

It was smooth water though.

So no sea sickness for me!

Praise the Lord!

However it was hot sitting in the sun and looking at the shiny, blue Caribbean water was a tease.

I just wanted to jump in.

At one point I stood up to just jump.

But then I realized the boat would have to stop for me and I would feel guilty and not be able to enjoy the water.

Apparently though, I wasn't the only one with these thoughts.

Once we docked on the mainland.

One of the doctors just jumped in.

So I jumped in right after him.

Shoes, sunglasses, and all.

I just didn't didn't think about taking anything off.

It didn't take long before everyone was in the water.

What a refreshing way to cool off after a long 2 days!!

Peace.

The Grind.

2011-10-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

Daily. Or Almost.

Adrian, Candice, Celissa, and I are trying to have some kind of daily (or almost daily) thing we do together.

The first thing we like to do is pray.

That is always on the plan.

And right now we are reading through Jesus Freak together.

It's a collection of stories of martyrs since the time of Jesus.

We will read one or two stories a day and than talk about them.

I love this time.

It refreshes my soul and reminds me there is no greater joy than to live and die for Jesus.

It reminds me how I need to be living daily.

And it encourages me to keep on pushing through for Him.

Our life on this earth is short, we get one shot to decide heaven or hell.

While I've chosen eternal life with Christ, what about the rest of Creation?

I cannot be silent- others must hear before it is too late.

Reading this book daily with the girls reminds me of this.

Story Time.

Today we ran errands in Port-au-Prince all day.

We go to that dirty, smelly, desperate city roughly 2 times a week, give or take.

Honestly, I'm starting to dislike it more and more.

And I haven't even been here that long.

It was a day of errands, but there were 10 of us for some reason so it also involved a lot of sitting around.

Finally on the road towards home, we pulled off to another mission.

We were all off the bus, standing around when all the sudden Adrian, Candice, and I see it at the same time.

But it took us all a few seconds to register that it was ACTUALLY happening.

The bus was rolling away.

Heading straight for another vehicle.

Adrian and I just start screaming "THE BUS" "THE BUS"

Candice joined after her disbelief wore off.

I stood there thinking there has to be something I can do.

Because at first everyone just ignored us.

But the only thing I could think to do ended with me pinned between the bus and the other vehicle in my imagination.

That just seemed like a stupid way to die.

So I just stood there, yelling with Adrian instead.

The men FINALLY paid attention to us.

They ran in front of the bus and stopped it, pushing against it while the driver ran inside and pulled the break.
They stopped the bus in time and all is well!

Coming Up.

Tomorrow we have another team coming.

It's a team of doctors.

It's going to be a busy week with them, but I think it will be fun.

We are taking them to do clinics from Port-au-Prince, to Northern Haiti, to the island off of Haiti and everywhere in between.

I'm Excited though!

Joy Ride...

2011-10-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today we rode to Port-au-Prince.
We were running late, so Jack drove fast.
Really fast.
Sitting in the back of the canter is normally nice because of the breeze.
It's basically an open cage with a bench.
But 100 mph is not a nice breeze.
In fact, it whipped the sunglasses off my face and the scarf off my head.
I have dirt caked on me in places you don't want dirt.
In my ears.
Up my nose.
On my entire face.
My hair is one big knot.
It's just lovely....

However we made it to the airport right on time.
Adrian's mom is here to visit for a week!
I'm so excited for her.
She's been here for 3 months and misses her family.

The one thing I love about Haiti is you never know what is going to happen next.

Peace.

The Smell of the Day

2011-10-10T17:35:00.000-07:00

I am covered in
diesel,
bleach,
dirt,
tomato sauce,
sweat,
Haitian rain,
and
baby tears
It's been a busy day.
I'm ready for a shower.

Schoolyard Chatter

2011-10-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

The children are filing in for their first day of school today.
There is excitement in the air.
They are all so cute in their uniforms and frilly socks.
They have been out of school since May.
They were supposed to go back in September but the government pushed it back until October
That's not good- they forget things with that long of a break.
I think both the child and the parent are excited school has finally started!

The Beauty of Community

2011-10-08T14:31:00.000-07:00

Jean Fritz.
     We have a sick baby.
Jean has a fever and is half asleep with little whimpers coming out of him on my lap right now.
    I must say I am quite hot.
The heat outside and the heat radiating off his little body do not mix well.
But he is miserable and I feel bad for him so it's worth the 17 pounds of sweat my body is extracting.
I'm learning a lot about parenting, even though Adrian has the majjority of the work.
   It's funny before I left for Haiti, people were asking if I knew how to raise a child
   and of course I said I had no idea.
   But I'm learning fast.
Fortunately, it's natural instinct for me.
Praise the Lord for that!

Team.
   My first team left early yesterday morning.
I must say, they were an awesome team!
         I was truly impressed by their attitude and willingness to do whatever was needed of them.
   I was even more impressed that they were all married with children.
      I love how no matter where you are in life, you can still do missions.
     Both here and there.

Port.
   After dropping the team off at the airport, it was just Adrian, me and 2 of our Haitian workers.
We had a ridiculous day in Port-au-Prince.
      We had to do some grocery shopping and run a few other errands.
I won't go into detail of the ridiculousness of it, but let's just say Adrian, Jack, Osmy and I laughed all day.
Oh, also I went into air conditioning for the first time since I got here and it was FREEZING!
      I just wanted to leave and go back to my hot, sweaty mess that waited outside.
I guess the heat I am feeling right now is what I get for just wanting to leave the air conditioning.
But, we found ice cream!
    That was very exciting!

One of the things I love about living here is the amount of random people we end up helping.
    Like yesterday, on the way home from Port we gave a random lady and her dauhgter a ride.
       And there are always people coming up here with medical problems that we are dealing with.
   We are constantly giving things away.
And when we make food planning to feed maybe 4 people, 15 dishes end up dirty.
Lately, we have been helping a prostitute medically and get her 4 year old money for school while preaching the Gospel
You never know what is going to happen when you wake up or who you may get to help or even who may help you.
And that's why I love it here so much.
     Because I think this is how Jesus would live.
   Constantly helping those in need.
       Even if it's holding the hand of a neglected child to show a little bit of love.

Peace.

The One with Jean Fritz

2011-10-04T21:56:00.000-07:00

Jean Fritz.
He is the 2 year old being raised here at Lifeline I mentioned before.
He was orphaned when his mother got ill and died.
His aunt had been taking care of him,
But not very well.
Lifeline found him only days from death- he was very malnourished.
This was only in April.
The aunt just couldn’t take care of him and agreed for him to be in the care of Lifeline.
He is now a happy, energetic, healthy little boy!
Before Candice and I came last week,
Jean would wake in the middle of the night screaming from nightmares.
When Adrian would get to him before he woke himself up she noticed he was trying to suck.
It was also at this time that she learned that when his aunt went to the mountains to get him and his siblings, she found him still trying to breastfeed from his dead mama.
We think he is having nightmares about that.
We have started praying over him last week and he has only woken once.

Team.
The team that is here right now is really cool.
They are woman who are mothers and have never been on a mission trip before.
They are wodnerful with the children. Obviously.
They are hard workers.
They are Godly woman.
They are reminders that no matter your age or stage of life, it's never to late to go on a mission trip and have a heart for the nations.
I have been loving getting to know them and hang out with them and attempting at being their tour guide (both Adrian and Candice have been sick on and off)
I love their heart and am very encouraged by them!!

Legal Stuff.
We have been talking with our legal adviser.
We have a lot of paperwork we are going to start doing in Port-au-Prince next week.
He also taught us all about the paperwork we are going to have to learn to do for the orphans.
Haiti officials need paperwork for each orphan which is difficult because 1-it's Haiti and 2-the child is an orphan.
But we have been told what to do and it doesn't seem too difficult...
Also we have people trying to get the container out of customs.
Honestly, I have no idea what that means.
In Haiti, that could mean anything.

Overall
I am really enjoying my time here.
Except I am sweaty all the time and I'm pretty sure I smell.
I love the walk to Barbancourt where the orphanage will be.
When this team leaves we have a week without one so hopefully I will get to spend more time over there :)

Peace.

The One where I move to Haiti

2011-10-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

The Internet has been down for the past week.

And still not fixed after 6 hours of 2 guys working on it...

There is a lot to catch you up on.

I typed a little every day, which adds up fast.

Wednesday 28 Sep

I made it to Haiti! But not without a bit of an adventure ;)

Candice and I had a layover at JFK, so we decided to spend a day and a half in NYC and stay with my friend who lives in Manhattan.

I took Candice around the city, visited the clinic I had my internship at last summer, and met up with an old roommate.

We had to leave for our flight to Port-au-Prince by 4:30am. It would take an hour and a half on the subway.

3 people managed to sleep through 3 alarms.

I woke up to Candice telling me we are late.

I look at the clock—it’s 5:30am.

Well, that’s a terrible feeling to wake up to.

AN HOUR LATE FOR THE AIRPORT!

My friend of course lives on the opposite side of Manhattan and JFK is on the opposite side of Queens.

Not exactly close.

We threw our things into our backpacks, I hugged my friend goodbye and we ran out the door praying to catch a cab quickly.

Praise the Lord we caught the first one I tried for.

However, we still had all of Manhattan and all of Queens to drive through.

I was praying for no traffic.

And guess what, THERE WAS NO TRAFFIC!!

We made it to the airport at the same time we would have if we would have taken the subway. CRAZY!!

Only by the grace of God did that happen!

So, here is our speculation, we either slept through the alarms because of God or because of the devil.

Did the devil try to keep us from making our flight?
OR

Were we supposed to take a taxi and not the subway because something would have happened on the subway?

Was it a means of protection? We were warned about taking the subway in that part of town at that time of night, but me being me decided to plan to take the subway anyway.

Was it because the subway wouldn’t have gotten us there on time for some reason?

We don’t know, but we do know God’s hand is all over this regardless of why we slept through the alarms!

Once we got our bags from storage, made our way to the terminal and checked in, I started to get nervous about the weight of my bags.

One was 49 and the other 51 when I flew from Iowa a couple of days ago.

I had this feeling the scales would be different.

I began to pray for mercy from the agent checking in and weighing my bags.

Well, my feeling was right.

One bag said 52 and the other 54!!

WHAT???!!!

I just prayed knowing there was nothing I could do.

Well, the lady was very sweet and asking me about why I had a one-way ticket.

She was interested in what we are doing in Haiti.

And guess what

SHE LET THE BAGS GO WIHTOUT SAYING A WORD ABOUT THE WEIGHT!!

As I was leaving she said her daughter wants to do missionary work too.

Talk about God answering prayers.

Of all the agents I could have gotten, God gave me one who had mercy on me because of her daughter. Praise Jesus!

Being here feels completely normal.

Like I’m home.

Imagine walking along, minding your own business when all of a sudden a creature you don’t want to exist outside of a zoo appears.

Yes, I am talking about a HUGE, FURRY tarantula.

Fortunately, we keep Celissa around to kill these kinds of things.

You can enjoy the photo—her hand gives perspective of its’ size.

Thursday 29 Sep

The Dominican to Haiti is like America to Mexico.

Everyone wants to go there for work, school, life.

The other day we were filling up with diesel for the generator.

It took a while so many cars and trucks came and went.

One particular truck that stopped was CRAMMED full of people.

And I mean they had people in every nook and cranny a person would fit.

Friday is market day and the borders are more open.

Each Haitian on the truck pays US $50 for a ride to the border where they will pass and hope to live a life in the Dominican making money to send home.

However, if they are caught, they can be killed.

Friday 30 Sep

Most of my contract for Lifeline requires me to help host teams that come from the states.

Today our first team arrives.

I think it will be a good.

I wonder what they will think—there are 4 girls living here ranging between 18-25.

Adrian is 18 and from Ohio. She has been here for 3 months.

Celissa is 25 and Haitian and has been staying with Adrian for 2 months.

Now there is Candice who is 23 from California and me who is 22.

Oh! And there is a 2-year-old Haitian who calls us all mama.

Adrian has been primarily raising him.

I feel like this could be a sitcom-

4 young ladies and a toddler all living together hosting teams every few weeks.

Saturday 1 October

Lifeline has a clinic open during the week.

When it is not open, people can still come for medical assistance.

One of the team members brought a little girl, Kimberly, with a gash on her leg this afternoon upstairs to Celissa.

Celissa is training to be a nurse

I happen to be sitting on the porch with her at this time.

It turns out the gash was old and infected.

We brought Kimberly down to the clinic to numb and clean the infection.

I carried her little brother down to the clinic who was with her.

It was obvious he had an extended abdomen and reddish hair.

I went ahead and gave him a deworming, chewable medicine.

When I sat him down in the clinic, I watched him breath to confirm my suspicion that he was struggling to breath.

I went and got a stethoscope and listened.

It sounded like crackles with a bit of wheezing.

Because I am only an EMT, I had Celissa listen when she was done with Kimberly.

She confirmed what I heard.

She is afraid there is water in his lungs.

There is not much we can do right now.

It is worthless to take him to the hospital on the weekend.

We would take him Monday, but the bus is broken down which means the team needs to use the truck and we have no transportation.

We have asked for the mother to come to Lifeline tomorrow to talk to her.

We are willing to give her the money to take him to the hospital but Celissa says she has done that before and they just pocket the money and not take the child.

Of course we don’t know what the situation is here but we will hopefully find out.

This little boy is God’s precious child.

He is in His hands.

The situation is frustrating to me because I feel like there has to be something I can do.

But God is in control, God’s will will be done.

That I must have faith in.

If I don’t, than I will exhaust myself quickly in Haiti.

Around the river bend

2011-09-06T01:20:00.000-07:00

I am moving to Haiti in less than a month
and I'm excited.

The One with No Home.

2011-07-04T00:05:00.000-07:00

Wanderer.
That seems to describe me lately.

I graduated in May and unexpectedly went to Iowa 2 days later.
My mother had emergency surgery and I went to help take care of her for 3 weeks.
Since then I have been meandering around the US.
I was in LA for a while and Vegas for a time too.
Recently I was in El Centro, CA- a border town.
My friend and I then drove to El Paso, Tx where we stayed with one of my roommates for a couple days.
I am now in Oklahoma.
Tomorrow we will drive to my grandma's farm.
A few days later, we will drive to Iowa,
where we will then go on to Chicago.
At some point, my friend will fly home and I will drive back to Iowa for a few days.
I will then drive to the other side of Iowa for a wedding.
After that, I will fly to Virginia Beach.
4 days after I get back, I will fly to Haiti.

As you can see, I am just going from place to place.
As I've been meeting new people this past week and they ask where I am from,
I just get confused and awkwardly speechless.
I grew up mostly in Iowa,
but I've lived in LA for the past 4 years
and I'm prepping to move to Haiti.
I currently live no where- I just wander.

But I'm learning I don't need a home.
I'm joyful because I know Jesus was homeless.
He keeps taking care of me with places to stay along the way.
He is good to me.
Because He is faithful, even when I am not.

Although someday I need to learn how to be content where I am...

The One with Firetrucks and Swords

2011-05-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to my brother and new sister Liz!

They got married last weekend.

They had firetrucks and swords at their wedding.

WIN.

The One without Comfort

2011-05-05T20:21:00.000-07:00

Question: Am I ready to REALLY trust God? Better yet, am I ready to trust him so much I become uncomfortable?

--God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through. (Francis Chan)

This is the latest lesson God has been teaching me.

And I am FINALLY getting excited about it.

I've always said I don't like to live in a sense of comfort.

Perhaps that's why I would go live in a mud hut without a second thought.

But that's not where God is currently calling me.

He knows I would be too comfortable in a mud hut.

However, I am uncomfortable getting a middle-class job in America.

In fact, this has paralyzed me with fear from applying to jobs until recent weeks.

I fear I will get stuck living 'the American dream'

For me personally, I get upset about this idea.

I think it's great for others, but not for me.

I fear getting a job after graduation because I fear I will get stuck.

But then again, I have graduation in less than a month and I will be jobless.

Which used to terrify me just as much as I am afraid of getting stuck in middle class America.

I clearly have an internal struggle.

I am ready to be done with school.

I am ready to move onto the next chapter.

But I have no idea what that looks like.

It's been constantly on my mind, nagging me daily.

But I've learned so much about trusting God.

While I've trusted God before, this is a new kind of trust I'm learning.

It's trusting God without a safety net.

I am getting really excited about this!

But I couldn't get this excited about trusting God and not knowing what happens June 1 until a recent, interesting lesson from God.

Saturday, I was in Arizona 4-wheeling with some friends.

I was in the rear and had just watched my friend almost flip her ATV going up a slight cliff (before she actually did).

That freaked me out.

I didn't want to go after that.

As I sat there contemplating, yelling to my friends I can't do it.

God screamed very blatantly "DO YOU TRUST ME?"

He meant it in that very moment and He also meant it overall in life- in my next step in life.

Naturally I said yes, but then I had to take a moment to really think about that question.

A few moments later, I rode up that stupid, small cliff perfectly fine.

I had just put myself in a position where I was not comfortable.

I spent the remaining 4 hours riding the ATV deep in thought about trust.

Sunday, my roommates unknowingly spoke confirmation about this and now

I can happily say I am in a very different place with my trust in God.

I am in a position where I am uncomfortable with June 1 coming closer and closer,

yet I am excited about it.

I know it is going to be ok because God created this planet and is in control-

He wouldn't just abandon me.

I am so excited to be in a place where I am uncomfortable and I would be in trouble if God didn't come through!

Peace.

One Day without Shoes

2011-04-06T02:24:00.000-07:00

Today I went without shoes.

Toms (a shoe company that gives a pair of shoes to a shoeless child in a 3^rd world country for every pair purchased) hosted a day without shoes to raise awareness for those children who are less fortunate and have never owned shoes.

It may be argued that children who grow up without shoes are used to it- yes, they are used it and have built up calluses so they aren’t so sensitive to the hard ground, but they often have open sores and cuts on their feet. It is easy to contract tetanus, jiggers, intestinal worms, and other illnesses.

A pair of shoes could simply save a life.

It was just like a fast, a fast from shoes.

As I walked to school and around campus, I felt every rock and crack, burned the bottoms of my feet on the asphalt, and was reminded how delicate my feet are.

I have blisters and cuts.

I never realized how much I take shoes for granted, let alone the privilege of owning not just one pair of shoes, but multiple pairs.

I’m so overwhelmed with the privilege of owning shoes!

SHOES!!

How many days do I wake up and struggle in choosing what shoes to wear?

How many times have I complained about not having shoes to match my outfit?

Wow!

What an honour it is that I am among the wealthiest people in this world and get to wear shoes daily!!

I am praising God for the blessing of shoes!!!

Why do I get to live in America and have so many privileges like shoes when there are billions of people living in extreme poverty??

I just don’t understand why I am so blessed, why I get to do the things I do and have the privileges I have

What did I do to deserve this life?

Who am I to even own shoes?

Try going without shoes, if not for a day, than at least for a couple hours- walk around the block barefoot or something.

Get a better understanding of what life would be like without shoes and what an honour it is we get to simply have a pair of shoes.

Praise God you get to have shoes for your feet!

Remember that time?

2011-03-03T23:53:00.000-08:00

'What are you doing after graduation?'

It seems I'm asked this very question 14 times a week.

I wish I had an answer.

I wish I had the security of knowing what is next, but I don't.

All I know is I can't live a safe life.

Jesus is dangerous.

I can't live holding on.

I remember that time my entire life course transformed back in 2006.

   It was at this conference.

   [If I'm going to truly, I mean truly walk in faith, I have to take peace in the Lord.
   I have to take joy in the fact only God knows where the next chapter of my life will lead]

Watch the video.

The One with the Dream

2011-02-07T20:23:00.001-08:00

It’s rare for me to go a night without active dreams.

Some nights I go to bed praying for God to teach me something.

And He did…

This particular dream will be hard to convey.

I woke up weeping.

I was a young boy in this dream,

which at first I found strange but now I understand, at least more so.

I was with 4 friends, all of which were young boys too.

We were somewhere in the middle east traveling on a train.

We were abducted by Islam extremists and they took us to a room where they made me watch them beat my 4 friends to death.

There was stabbing, meat pounding, flailing, and other unspeakable things.

Blood was everywhere.

Organs were flying around the room.

I knew exactly what was happening and was forced to watch,

but some of it was censored, I couldn’t handle seeing all this.

I believe God knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

There was blood everywhere.

I couldn’t stop these men.

These boys were innocent, but they followed Jesus.

So why did they make me watch and let me live?

They released me after it was all over and I went back to America and couldn’t talk.

I just wept.

People were asking me where the other boys were and I couldn’t say anything.

At this point, I woke up weeping.

The boys age shows innocence.

As well as vulnerability and in need of comforting.

This dream has troubled me since I had it a few months ago.

I weep for those doing the persecution.

I weep b/c they have fallen so deeply into the lies of the devil.

I weep because they are so lost.

I weep for the lives who are taken b/c they follow Jesus.

I weep for the suffering in this world.

I weep because this is happening every day.

I weep because I did this to Jesus.

I weep because this is not just a dream, but reality.

I weep because God is good.

I asked for a dream and he showed me what is taking place in this world.

I weep because I was not compassionate towards these people (and still struggle), but through this dream I see the brokenness on both sides and now feel broken for them.

God gets all the glory. All the time.

Peace.

Welcome to the United States.

2011-01-31T18:38:00.000-08:00

In Morocco, there were about 4 or 5 passport checks to get through the airport.

Those in front of us were stopped and intently checked.

All except for the initial check, they did not even open our passports once they saw the cover saying “The United States of America”

In countries like Morocco or Uganda, westerners are often treated like celebrities.

As least, this has been my experience.

As I was going through customs in Atlanta,

I noticed signs saying “Welcome to the United States”

It took me a while to realize them, but once I did I couldn’t help but find them to be of great significance.

Although to me, it means very little.

I am an American.

I’m not worried if I have the next meal or if my family has to sell me to afford being alive.

I know I’ll be taken care of.

To many around the world, the US is only a fantasyland.

It’s a place where there is freedom.

This is something that will never be a reality to many.

Seeing those words “Welcome to the United States” is a dream to many,

And yet, it’s something I don’t even notice or appreciate.

I take too great of an advantage being from America.

No matter how messed up our government may seem or how low our economy appears,

we are still a land of freedom that attempts to bring justice.

We are still considered wealthy because we have food.

We have some sense of security.

We have freedom.

Seeing the words “Welcome to the United States” will never become reality to many who suffer because they were merely born in the wrong land.

I must stop taking advantage of this great wealth I was born into.

I am so blessed just by being an American citizen and I don’t even realize it.

Can you imagine what is running through the minds of those who are desperate to make it to America and actually do?

What are they thinking when they see the sign "Welcome to the United States"?

Jesus, show me.

Peace.

The One with Spain.

2011-01-28T21:46:00.000-08:00

Life moves fast.

I’m currently on a plane back to California to begin my final semester at Biola.

Spain was a wonderful adventure.

I especially loved our side trip to Morocco!

Before leaving for this journey, my mom and I were talking and she said not to wear a cross necklace into Morocco.

I kinda laughed and just said I didn’t even own a cross necklace.

I have no idea what prompted her to say this.

Fast forward.

Jenny and I were in the subway station on our way to the Madrid airport to catch our flight to Morocco, when my necklace randomly broke.

It’s one of those long necklaces with a variety of random pieces.

What I didn’t realize was it had a cross hanging off the end.

Noticeably, the biggest part of the necklace.

With a simple swipe of my purse, the cross broke off.

It wasn’t until I picked it up did I realize what just happened.

I instantly remembered what my mom had told me a few days earlier.

Crazy.

I guess God was watching our backs. More than I realize I’m quite sure.

I loved Morocco.

We just wandered around, met some crazy people and learned more about the culture.

Spain was random.

During the days I wandered around Madrid while Jenny was at her internship.

I saw most of the city.

One early morning, I sat in the park (which reminded me of an English garden), reading Pride and Prejudice. It was a foggy morning with the sun shining.

It was the perfect setting.

I felt like I was in the story.

I don’t speak Spanish.

It was pretty ridiculous trying to communicate with those who didn’t speak English.

I think if I could watch my awkwardness, it would be pretty funny.

Jenny turned 21 while I was there.

I loved being able to be there to help her celebrate.

Jenny is a pretty awesome friend; I’ve known her since I was 4.

I’m glad I was able to visit her in Spain.

Peace.

The One with the Recap

2011-01-16T14:03:00.000-08:00

I always have this great plan to blog weekly, but as you can see, that rarely happens.

So I’ll give a quick recap on these past few months.

The Villa.

I live in a house with 5 other girls and it has been a huge blessing! We are all intercultural Studies majors and get along great. We have a fabulous time together and I love going home to them.

Missions Conference.

I have the senior director position of Biola University’s Missions Conference, which is completely student run. It has been such a blessing!! For those of you who don’t know, Missions Conference is a time every spring where Biola cancels classes for 3 days and we bask in Jesus, our call as Christians and to hear what’s happening in this world. This year we are trying something new in the planning process where my co-director and I meet with every department on campus. We met with 42 professors, administers, and/or department staff throughout the fall. Such an honour! Every single one of those meetings was unique and God showed me how blessed I am to be at a school with such quality and God seeking people. I am in awe of Him and don’t deserve to be at this school studying under people who truly seek more of Jesus.

Missions Conference is coming quickly (16-18 March 2011) and there is still a lot to do as we finish planning, but we have a wonderful staff of 90 who are stepping up and going above and beyond their call as staff. Another blessing! I am so overjoyed by the people God has led to Missions Conference. It’s been a privilege to work with our staff, I wish I could personally get to know each staff member, but time limits me.

Virginia Beach.

In October, I got to fly to Virginia Beach. My brother and his fiancé are attending law school at Regent University. My mother and I both flew out there to help Liz go wedding dress shopping. It was fun to see their new lives and to help her dress shop.

Thanksgiving.

This year I spent thanksgiving in skid row. A friend and I went down the day before and spent the night on the roof of the Union Rescue Mission. We didn’t go down with intentions of being helpful or anything, we just wanted to spend the holiday in skid row. We ended up serving in the kitchen both Wednesday and the day of thanksgiving, they needed help and we volunteered. But the majority of our time we just wandered the streets. I met some new friends, my favourite, Garberville Bill. We talked with him for quite a while. He was abducted by aliens 2 years ago and told me all about the good aliens and bad aliens, he says they’re just like good people and bad people. You see there is a fight-taking place in outer space between these aliens. According to Bill, there is a battle for planet Earth because it’s the best planet in all the galaxies since we are the most resourceful planet. But the good aliens are protecting us from the bad aliens taking over. If you ask me, this sounds a lot like angels and demons. Garberville Bill has been on drugs since the 60’s so he has some interesting stories and has a big heart. He is definitely one of my favourites.

Tattoo.

I finally got a new tattoo. My housemates and I were in Hollywood to celebrate the end of finals when some of them wanted to go dancing. The other 3 of us didn’t so we decided we would get tattoos while we waited. I got the word ‘freiheit’ (German) behind my right ear. It means freedom. This word means a lot to me. There are several reasons why that I won’t go into at the moment. In the midst of getting the tattoo, it hit me that I was a getting this tattoo, one with great meaning to me, in the middle of Hollywood, a town that desperately needs true freedom.

Spain.

I am currently on a plane to Madrid (hence the long update). My oldest friend Jenny is currently living there so I am going to visit her. I am ready for another great adventure! On Friday, we are going to Casablanca, Morocco. I’ve always wanted to go there, so you can imagine how excited I am! God is good and always provides!

More later.

Peace.

The One with Evil.

2010-12-03T01:48:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been really angry about death.
The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get.
   I hate how our loved ones leave this planet.
   I hate the pain and brokenness we experience when one dies.
   I hate the hole the deceased leave in a person.
   I hate how broken my heart is over this.

This causes me to think about the root cause of death, sin.
   evil.
   I am angry I listen to the devil and go against God.
   I am upset I can't just say no.
   I hate that I desire darkness over the light.
   My soul is troubled by evil.

   I am constantly realizing how naive I am.
   There is so much evil and pain in this world.

There are serial killers, there are people selling other human lives into a slavery, there is genocide, there is rape, there is abuse, there are human sacrifices, and a million more evil deeds to be added to this list.

I sit here in America, in my comfortable house in southern California with pure freedom when there are people in this world who have never had a day where they don't have to wonder if they'll live to see tomorrow.

I hate this.
   I am bitter towards God right now.
   I am bitter because I can't achieve world peace.
   I am bitter because so many people have lost their innocence.
I am bitter because He gave us free will and we follow the devil instead of Him.
   I am bitter the devil roams this world.
   I am bitter because I am evil and have no self-control.

The Screams of my Soul

2010-11-14T18:05:00.000-08:00

I'm in the middle of writing my senior thesis, which means I shouldn't be blogging. But I can't write this paper right now because of the passion burning deep within my soul is way too overwhelming right now. My thesis is on Hollywood. It's on the need for Jesus to reign there. It's on our Missions Conference theme, which I will explain at some point (I've been meaning to), SET US ABLAZE! It's an intercessory prayer taken from Isaiah 63-66, specifically 64:1-2. It's a prayer for Biola, for LA, for the world! This passion the Lord has given me for Hollywood connects with this theme.

Hollywood is in a state of desperation and they have a great influence on this world. They need to be shouting the name of Jesus from mountaintops. People will listen. Hollywood is so broken. It's breaking my heart. God is breaking my heart for them. (trust me, I've been trying to run from it, maybe I'm Jonah...) My soul is screaming out to Him. My soul is screaming for this industry, my soul is screaming with passion, my soul is screaming with hope.

Sorry I'm rambling and this probably makes no sense but I'm so overwhelmed by His love and glory and the desire to see His name spread like wildfire through Hollywood and to the ends of the earth, I can't really make clear statements. Hence, taking a break form my thesis.

I long to see Him declared King by all!

JESUS REIGNS! He is so good!

(I decided pictures makes blogging more exciting. I think I'm going to start trying to add one to each blog)

Break My Heart for what Breaks Yours.

2010-09-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my Heart for what breaks yours

Some of you may recognize these lyrics (it’s a song by Hillsong).

The past few months, I’ve been asking Jesus to break my heart for His nations.

I want to see with eyes of love.

He’s been doing just that.

Jesus has been showing me a bit of His heart.

There is so much pain and suffering in this world, in my own backyard.

This past weekend, I had 2 very different experiences.

Friday night, I went down to skid row.

Of course, I’ve seen this brokenness before and there is a sense of comfort I find in it,

I think that’s because I feel close to Jesus when I’m with the homeless,

perhaps it’s because Jesus was homeless.

Saturday night I went into Hollywood.

This is a very different [yet similar] brokenness I saw.

I’d never been to a place like this before in America.

My friends wanted to dance and I wasn’t about to miss out.

While we were “good Christian girls,” I couldn’t help but observe everyone around us.

The longer we stayed, the more everyone around us drank.

By the end of the night, I could no longer be in the club.

My heart was crying for these precious children of God.

My spirit became so heavy, I could barely breathe.

At one point I thought I was going to throw up from the heaviness in my chest.

I walked outside to wait, to search my heart, and to pray. [And to take off my heels]

My heart was breaking.

I was overwhelmed and couldn’t comprehend what just happened.

A little while later we went home.

The next morning at church, my pastor spoke about reaching our local community

and taking seriously the privilege we have in being apart of the body of Christ.

I was still so broken about what I saw the night before.

While I knew that people go “clubbing,”

It wasn’t until I stepped into their world did I understand what this entails.

It breaks my heart this is what many do on a weekly basis, sometimes several times a week.

I was shown another piece of darkness, but the spirit was with me and protected me [my friends too].

The torment in my soul was the battle of good and evil.

Jesus protected me. Jesus brought me closer to him. Jesus showed me more of His heart.

As the message closed and worship began, I couldn’t get the faces of those made in the image of God from the night before out of my head.

I began to cry for them.

I cried because they need to meet Jesus.

I cried because they are seeking truth and haven’t found it.

I cried because Jesus’ heart breaks for these souls.

I cried because my heart was broken for them.

And then as I sat in the presence of God, I cried more because of the cross.

It hit me hard.

God had to turn His back on His only son while Jesus hung on the cross bearing the sin of the world.

I’ve known this, but it never broke me like this before.

I can’t imagine the pain and emptiness Christ felt.

He did this for me.

He did this for those precious children in the club.

He did this for Jackie Chan.

He did this for Osama bin Laden.

God is Love.

The One with the Beginning of the End.

2010-08-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

I've been back in Los Angeles for a week already. School begins in the morning and my schedule has already been full. It's going to be an interesting year with everything I have, especially Missions Conference. I am honoured to have been chosen as the MC co-director and to be in SMU. I have loved connecting with my co-workers this past week. I look forward to a year of great friends, classes, work, and even relying on God for strength to make it through the stressful times.

I live in a house near campus with 5 other girls. They are a wonderful group of girls pursuing a more intimate relationship with Christ. I have truly been blessed. We have a great house for entertaining and I can't wait to have Biola appropriate parties :).

Another chapter has begun in my life and I look forward to living it, but it's going to be a challenge to balance now and planing for the future. I want to live in the present but I already find myself thinking a lot about the end of next May -- graduation. I hope I don't forget to live now and take full advantage of my last year at such a wonderful place.

The One with the Mid-West.

2010-08-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

I love the mid-west.

It's so so so good to be back here!

I've missed it.

It's relaxing. It's a blast. It's wonderful!

Life is beautiful!

The One with a Blessing.

2010-07-27T22:20:00.000-07:00

This fell out of my Bible tonight. It's a blessing someone gave me a year ago. So encouraging!

'May God give Michelle plans that fill her heart with joy and then fulfill them. May she comprehend God's grace, love, and beauty in greater ways through incredible experiences. May she feel accepted and loved by many close friends and family.'

The One with Hello Goodbye

2010-07-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

My time in New York is coming to a close.

The past week, all I wanted to do was leave.

The City that once seemed so huge was shrinking in around me.

The buildings were moving closer together.

The streets were getting tighter.

The people were multiplying.

What once seemed like a long walk

became a quick stride down the street.

My world was getting smaller here.

I was getting claustrophobic.

But last night, I started to get sad.

I was on the streets in a nasty storm with my good friend.

I love rain and thunder.

I love New York at night.

I love Kjirsten.

I didn’t want to leave.

Tonight, as I walked through Central Park and through the streets of the city, I got sad again.

I can’t seem to make up my mind.

I’ve always been a person who gets unsettled when I’ve been somewhere too long.

Maybe that’s what my problem is.

Maybe I’ve explored NY so much that it’s no longer a mystery to me.

Maybe I’m just restless.

Being here isn’t so much an adventure anymore; it’s just everyday life now.

As I contemplate my feelings about this now, I just get confused.

All week I was dreaming of sweet summer in Iowa aka leaving NYC.

But now, I am sad to leave.

Perhaps I am allowing myself to be sad because I know I’m leaving

But now I am also thinking of leaving everyone (KJ, Laura, Martha, Etc.)

I’ve never been very good at making decisions,

this could have something to do with that.

Or maybe I’m thinking too much.

I don’t know anymore.

But as I sit here I do know something for sure:

I need my fields.

I need my fresh air.

I need my space.

I need my breath.

I need quiet.

I need to not be able to touch the person next to me.

I never knew until this week how much I love the country and open-space.

Once I’ve been away from home for a while, it’s such a wonderful place to go back to.

Although to be honest, I know I could never live in Iowa again.

It’s just a great place to visit; it’s my childhood.

I can’t wait for summer in Iowa.

There is something sweet about it…

Whitey’s Ice Cream

Bike Rides along the Mississippi

Late Night Runs with Bentley (my dog)

Going to the Drive-in

Home-made Ice Cream

Late nights at Old Chicago for Happy Hour

The Storms

Happy Joe’s Taco Pizza

My Mother’s German meal

Spending the day in Scott County Park

Walking to the dog park

Unplanned trips to Chicago

Driving across Iowa to Grandma’s farm in Nebraska

Random Outings with my mother

Visiting with old friends

After all the places I go, there is no place like home.

And that’s Bettendorf, Iowa :)

Although I do have some time before I get there…But at least I will be in places that are like home & I know just as well.

My Schedule for the rest of summer::

--Thursday 2am, Train from NYC to Boston (Meeting my friend Joel)

--Friday, Flight from Boston to Chicago

--In Chicago with loved ones for cousin’s wedding until Sunday

--To Bettendorf Sunday night

--Monday, Road trip with my best friend Jenny to Nebraska

--Thursday, Drive to Wisconsin to Jenny’s new house

--Saturday/Sunday, Drive home to Iowa :)

--10 days HOME cramming my days full of those ^ & appointments

--Aug 18, back to LA.

It’s gonna be a bit crazy, but I wouldn’t have anything less.

The One with Love.

2010-07-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

I love sitting in Central Park.
   I love taking my Ukulele with me as I try to learn how to play it.
  I love reading my Bible hidden among the trees in the midst of the big city.
   I love walking through Central Park with my dear friend Kjirsten.
   I love relaxing in the middle of a city that never sleeps.
I love love walking through the streets of the hustle and bustle.
   I love people watching.
   I love the fact that Jesus knows every person better then they know themselves.
I love the fact that we all share so much in common yet they are a stranger on the streets.
   I love watching the sun set in between the buildings.
I love the sun.
   I love thunderstorms.

I love my days with nothing to do but wander.
   I love chatting away with God, no matter the subject.
   I love my God, the God of Jacob.
   I love the fact that He is always with me.
   I love that He is my constant companion.
   I love that He brought me to NYC to grow close with Him.
   I love what He is doing in my heart.
I love that I am more confused then ever about my life.
   I love putting all faith in Him.
   I love how God takes care of me.
   I love the bizarre things that God bestows upon me.
   I love how funny He is.
   I love how much He loves me.

The One when the Welke Parents Visit NYC

2010-07-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

My parents came to visit this past weekend.

I thoroughly enjoyed their visit.

I took them to see some of the sights of the city.

We played tourist a lot.

They weren’t here very long so we didn’t get to do everything,

but I showed them a lot considering the amount of time they were here.

We went to see Mary Poppins on Broadway.

It was quite awesome!

Showed them time square ( I still don’t understand the point of that place)

Took them to some yummy Thai food and the UN.

We also went to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.

We went around the World Trade Center and visited a couple memorials.

Ventured off to Central Park and showed them around a little of it.

And finally took them to the church and clinic I came to New York to serve.

It was a busy weekend, but quite fun!

The One with God of this City.

2010-07-03T23:48:00.000-07:00

The other day as I walked through Central Park, a butterfly landed on my arm.
   It didn't stay too long, but it was enough to excite me.
I walked to the other side of the park and sat down on a bench to read a book.
   As soon as I opened it, the same looking butterfly landed on the book.
   I didn't even know what to think or do.
   I was far from where it had landed on my arm before.
   I just stared at it in awe until someone walked by and it flew away.
   I sat there over an hour.
Throughout the hour, the butterfly would come and land on the book,
   when someone walked by it would fly away until the coast was clear.

It just kept coming back!

I texted my mutti asking her what it means.

She thought I should just ask it.
Feeling a little silly, I did.
All it did was flap its wing and then it spread them all the way out onto the book staring at me.

It was beautiful.

   Sadly, I don't speak butterfly so I have no idea what it means.
I've been praying God will reveal this to me.
He hasn't yet, but as I told my dear friend Candice about this, she told me God will reveal it to me in due time.
   And I think HE will. I just need to practice patience.

   As I mentioned before, I get on the subway with no place to be.
   So I ride until I get off and wander around. Pretending to be a local.
   The other day, I landed near the World Trade Center.
   As I walked around the site, my stomach felt sad.
   Which is to be expected.
   Sometime while I was there, the song "God of this City" came on my iPod
At first, I didn't realize the significance of this or the fact that Jesus played it for me.

And honestly, I wasn't paying much attention to the music playing in my ears.

I was texting, walking, thinking about the evil in the hearts of many people, and looking at a location where thousands of people lost their lives.

My iPod was just background noise.

All the sudden the lyrics,
"Greater things have yet to come and Greater things are still to be done in this city"
sang loudly into my ears, catching my attention, my heart.

I stopped my thoughts, my text, my feet.

I just stood there in awe.
God is in control and He is working among the people.
Lives are transforming for His glory.
And He's not done working here.
I could ramble on and on about this moment & all the things He shared with me,
but I think it's better I keep that as a tender moment between me and God.

Peace.

The One with A New Best Friend.

2010-06-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

Jesus is working on me this summer.

He is showing me things about me, His love, His heart, His plans, His grace.

I am in New York to be transformed for His glory.

Here, it is just Him and me

I am here with little distractions

By this I mean, no school, no 3 jobs, no friends
I have an internship here,

but they generously give me time to explore the city.

I have a lot of open time to be with Jesus.

Just Him and me.

He is becoming my constant companion,
my best friend.

I know this should already be so,

but I’ve always had so many distractions around me

that I compromised my relationship with Him.

And now, I am here to spend time in His presence.

And grow a tremendous amount for His glory.

I know now this is why I have been called to this big city.

I am in NYC for me- for my relationship with God.

I am so grateful.

He gets all the glory!

He is transforming me to be more like Him.

I’ve been praying to live more faithfully.

Why is it so difficult to have faith?

This is something I am constantly struggling with.

   Maybe it's because I'm scared.

   Maybe it's because I'm selfish.

Or maybe it's because it's hard to listen to honest truth I don't always want to hear.

Through His Word,

I am learning more and more about the importance of faith,

even in the littlest and mundane things.

I’m learning to listen to the whisper He so often speaks with.

To have faith in this whisper.

A couple weeks ago, I felt the spirit telling me to give a homeless man $20.

To be honest, I didn’t really want to,

but I did because I knew it was what I was being called to do.

The next day,

I was coming home and there was $20 lying on the subway platform.

Everyone walked right by it.

I picked it up.

I know He gave me this $20 to show me what faith is.

To confirm His ways.

On my free days,

I usually end up walking around Manhattan and Central Park.

I’ve started only going the directions the whisper tells me to go.

   It’s a time to learn how to listen to Him.
   I find that when I start to stop listening I walk in circles or have to back track.
   It reminds me of life.
   In times when I don't listen to his will for me, I always end up having to go back.

Today, as I sat in Central Park,

God showed me how much our relationship has grown,

has transformed in just a few weeeks
It seems like I am constantly praying.

I am constantly in dialogue with Him.

I am spending a lot of my day in the Bible too.

Never before have I spent this much time one-on-one with Him.

It’s actually pretty sweet.

I am learning so much.

He has revealed so much to me of what is to come.

Of who He is.

Of where I am headed.

Of His love and glory.

I have been greatly changed in such a short time.

It’s amazing how He is at work in me.

I am so excited to see His plan be unveiled in time.

I know there are some things coming that are going to be beautiful

And only the redeeming blood of Jesus will deserve the glory!

The One with the Love of a Mama Rat

2010-06-17T16:10:00.000-07:00

The other day as I stood on the subway platform,

I watched a mama rat with her 3 babies for a good 15 minutes.

She was constantly running after her babies,

trying to keep them together.

When one would run off, she chased it down and brought it back to the others.

As I stood there watching, I couldn't help but be grateful for my parents.

The mama rat desired to keep her children on track,

even risking her life as a train came to find her child.

My mother and father raised 3 children too.

(I guess I'm comparing my parents to this rat... no offense mutti and daddy)

This rat showed me something about the love of parents.

We may not get along all the time, but I know they want the best for us.

I also noticed the energy the mama rat used chasing her babies around.

My brothers and I have always been everywhere,

as kids, one at soccer, one at boy scouts, the other at swim practice.

to more recently, traveling the world. one in Iraq, one hiking Machu Picchu, one hanging out in Africa.

to one living in California, one in North Carolina, and the other in Virginia Beach.

Between the 3 of us, one of us always seems to be going somewhere or doing something.

It's been this way since I can remember.

My mother was always behind us, supporting us, and running in all directions.

She still is.

And my father too.

This rat family, living in the subways of New York City,

made me grateful and showed me what a blessing my parents are.

SO thank you Daddy and Mutti

for everything throughout my 21 years.

I am so honoured you love us the way you do and

I find great joy in the way you brought us up to love Christ and

live for the one who shed HIs blood.

When one of us strayed the other way,

you guys always ran after us like that mama rat, trying to bring us back.

If it weren't for the love you guys have for us and more importantly for Christ,

None of us would be were we are today.

Thank you!

Oh, and we love you!

It's funny the things God can use to show us something. Even Rats.

I guess I should pay more attention to the little things around me.

For it is with a small voice God tends to teach us, show us, and communicate with us.

The One with a Running Life

2010-06-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

        Life is an Adventure.
                         And God is good.

          This semester was a whirlwind.
       It passed so fast, yet so slow.
                             In that time, a lot happened.

        I worked 3 jobs the majority of the semester
            while trying to be a full time student.
     It was most definitely challenging.

Hawaii.
             However, God blessed me with a 2-week trip to Hawaii.
   It was the Sabbath I needed and kept forgetting to take.
          I went to Hawaii to visit a dear friend of mine.
                 We got to go on many adventures-
They involved::
        Hitchhiking.
        Running from wild boars.
        Walking around lost in the rain. Yes, LOST on an island ;)
        Biking through the jungles & beaches of Kauai.
        Paddle boarding.
        Snorkeling (makes me upset I’m not a mermaid).
        Doing the tourist thing (Pearl Harbor, Diamond Head, etc)
        Camping on the beach.
        Hiking.
        Getting sun burnt.
        And more.
                                     I must say, it was a blast!
                         And exactly what I needed.
  It was a time of renewal and finding myself in God again.
                And for this, I know Christ sent me to Hawaii.

Missions Conference (MC).
                  Every spring semester, Biola halts classes
    and has a 3-day conference put on completely by the students.
            This past year,
                      I had the privilege of being a coordinator.
This means another girl and I were
                          in charge of the interactions department.
        We had 14 girls in the department
                                    who did an outstanding job!!

A couple weeks after the conference,
        I turned in an application to be next year’s co-Director of MC.
             Only a day after an interview with the SMU president,
I received a call informing me I got the position.
    My co-director and I will be the leaders of the
                largest student-run missions conference
(about 4,000-6,000 attendees coming and going).
          I am honoured God selected me to be a tool used for His glory.
         I look forward to the challenges and miracles I will experience.
                               I will learn and grow as a leader
               but more importantly, as a follower of Christ.

New York City.
                  I am currently living in NYC for the summer.
    I am an intern with New Life Community Health Center in Queens.
                            The clinic is connected to a church.
                                   It is completely free to the beneficiaries.
                                      It is run by donators and volunteers.
Doctors, Dentists, Nurses, EMT’s, Social Workers, Secretaries, etc.
          It caters to mostly immigrants and
                                      those with no form of health insurance.
But we will take anybody that walks through the door.
                                  So far, I’m enjoying it here.
                 I’m quickly getting acquainted with the subway system.
The clinic wants me to have time to explore the city
                                                   so they give me 3 days off a week.
                         I’ve already been on some great adventures.
            The first 5 or so days I was here,
                                            I felt so dizzy and a little nauseous.
I eventually told one of my friends who is here from Biola
                         for a couple weeks and he had the same issue.
He had determined it was from the constant movement
                                  of the subways that live underneath us.
                                                          I think he is right.
Fortunately, I am getting used to it b/c I no longer feel dizzy :).

I have so much more I want to say,
    but there is no more time right now.

I’ll try to update this more often now that I’m interning in NYC.

The One with fame, beauty, money, and lies

2010-03-08T01:52:00.000-08:00

I have been on many adventures lately (just around LA)

They range from running into Johnny Depp,

to sitting at the train tracks for 2 hours,

to lovely days at the beach,

to the Dream Center,

to fashion shows,

to late nights at McClain's (coffeehouse),

and the latest was for work= the Oscars.

I have spent the last week going like crazy--

Working 54 hours.

Sleeping 5 hours.

Skipping classes.

Not writing papers.

Finally finishing a paper and sending it in exactly at midnight, the last minute late papers are excepted.

Much of this week was spent down on Hollywood Blvd. guarding the red carpet.

Yes, I walked the red carpet.

Yes, I saw it all.

And yet, something was wrong.

Watching them put this one event together was quite intriguing and a little disgusting.

They closed down the street.

They had more security then the president.

((300 guards, 200 police, 100 Marines, & the bomb squad)) --guesstimating

They spent a quarter of a billion dollars. --not guesstimating

And now, it's all over.

It all seems so pointless.

I couldn't help but think about Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey as all these people rode into a dirty town in fancy cars, in their expensive clothes, to be greeted by the world.

I started imagining the world covered in a red carpet for Jesus when He comes back a second time. and everyone bowing to HIm. AWESOME!!

As I stood guard tonight, something came over me that was building over the week.

Anger.

It just blew up.

I was ticking all week and I didn't even know it.

I was angry at the celebrities.

I was angry at the production people.

I was angry at the general public.

I was angry at Hollywood.

I was angry at it all.

This anger turned to bitterness.

It seeped.

It got too deep for comfort.

I was unsettled.

I was so mad.

I was mad that so much money, time, and life went into this one event.

Then I became mad that so much money, time, and life went into Hollywood.

I was made at the lies this town has told.

I was mad so many people fall for them--including myself.

I was mad how much influence they have on the world.

I was especially mad about the money.

so many people are hurting in this world.

so many people are in desperate need for a meal to survive until tomorrow.

so many people are broken.

This bitterness started making me vengeful.

I started to scare myself.

That's when I decided I needed to calm down.

I began praying.

By the end of the night.

My heart had changed.

I no longer felt bitter or angry.

I felt sad.

I felt broken hearted.

I was shown something tonight that I never thought about.

Hollywood is in trouble.

They need to see the light.

They need Jesus.

They need to realize their glamor, fame, and money is NOTHING.

They need to see that Christ is ALL.

We were all made in the image of God.

For one town to tell the world what is beautiful and what isn't is wrong.

They have no authority over me, over you, over anyone. Only our Saviour does.

Hollywood is a town of beauty and glitz, yet it is so dark.

It is corrupt.

It is evil.

The sin we have brought upon ourselves is clear in this town.

They (we) have lost sight of truth.

Honestly, Skid Row has more light then Hollywood.

That mission field seems way easier then Hollywood.

But really, I realized Hollywood needs missionaries.

They need Christians who are strong and won't compromise anything. ((I'm sure there are a few))

They need Love.

They NEED Jesus.

They need what they came to Tinsel Town looking for=

They need to fill that gap.

They need to find their hope and joy.

They need to see it was already bought for them with the blood of our saviour.

My heart is breaking for them.

And it's not because I wanted it to.

It's because Christ broke me in order to pray for them.

This town is not one many people think of when they decide to go live incarnationally.

This isn't a town they think of when they chose to do ministry.

This isn't a town people think to send missionaries too.

This isn't a town people think of when we think of the suffering.

But they are suffering.

Just not in the ways we think of.

Hurting, dejected, poor, broken, afflicted.

In reality, this town is poor.
They are lacking Christ.

They need the CHRISTians as much as Skid Row, Thailand, Haiti, etc.

Why is that our hearts break for the suffering in 3rd world countries and not for those suffering in our own backyard?

Don't misunderstand me, my heart breaks for the socially, financially, physically, afflicted in underdeveloped countries, but why didn't my heart break for Hollywood until tonight?

I may not see their pain physically, but it's there.

They lack the on thing all in this world desire: Hope, joy, peace.

They lack Christ.

It's easy to get caught up in Hollywood. What was the first thing I said when I went on many adventures? Running into Johnny Depp. His life is in that town. He is that town.

This is a huge challenge that lies in front of us, but anything is possible with Christ who strengthens me!

This town will be tougher to reach then Skid Row or the people of Malawi.

It's in this town that the rejection to the Christian is strong and influential to the world.

I think that's why we as Christians are so afraid to get involved, to try and bring them Jesus.

I think we are afraid of rejection. Of people making fun of us. Of our reputation.

But really, we need to be brave because He is our rock! He is all that matter!

And in the end, all that matters are the choices you made here on earth--did you choose to believe in God, in Christ's blood spilling for you?

The land of Hollywood was originally owned by a church.

Now it's time we pray for it to be brought back to the kingdom of Christ for His glory.

I pray to see it belong to the church again.

Please pray with me.

The One For Lois

2009-12-03T00:24:00.003-08:00

The Battle Rages On
For Lois

The fear behind her eyes
Our bodies’ embrace,
The arms cling tight
The salty fluid roll down her hardened face
And make a home on my shoulder
My arms close tighter
My vision begins to blur
My checks run black as the cool liquid runs down
The suffering, I can’t imagine.
I feel pain, my heart aches,
And yet, I don’t know why.
The whisper in her ear
I can barely hear it
Where is it coming from?
It sounds so familiar
Realization
My mouth is moving
That sound is coming from me.
I’m praying
What am I saying?
Nothing.
My lips speak the words of God
My mind can’t make sense
And my ears can’t understand
The street goes silent
The world turns black
A comforting warmth covers our embraced bodies
For a brief moment, peace is felt.
The sufferings and the pain forgotten.
Bowing before Christ,
The spirit comforts us.
Time forgotten,
Hurt forgotten,
Peace is found.
All of the sudden, loud sounds ring in my ears.
The cool, crisp air is felt on my damp cheek.
Transported back to a world of suffering.
No.
I cling tighter,
I want to go back.
She clings tighter,
She too wants to go back.
It finally registers,
Someone is speaking.
My eyes open
There it is
Back to the world of sin.
Something’s different.
The voice grows louder
He says its time to move on.
I loosen my grip,
Afraid to let go
She moves away
Alone in the world
Cold
Hungry
Frightened
I look
Her face not as hard,
Her eyes layered of water.
Wait,
Not yet,
One last embrace
The warmth so brief
The voice calling her name.
She says something
What was it?
It didn’t register.
I smile, trying to hear those words
I say something back
Wait, what did I say?
She turns her back
One last look over her shoulder.
I stand there
I took a piece of her pain,
I feel it,
I will keep it.
She rounds the corner
I take a last look of the woman,
Full of hurt.
I pray a simple prayer,
“Jesus, be with her.
Let her continue to feel you as the battle rages on.”

The One with Joy and Hope

2009-11-08T02:41:00.004-08:00

I have something magnificent to share with you. As most of you all know, I have been going down to skid row (where the homeless live in LA) on Friday nights to hand out water and just hang out with the people. Well tonight was a bit of a different night, we usually go down around 10 and leave at like 2 in the morning, but today we went down around 6:30 for some reason. Well seeing as how it was earlier, it was much more lively with some of a different crowd. We got to talk with some amazing people and pray over them, it's great because we are making relationships with people too.

Tonight we spent some time in a large crowd type thing and we all started talking with different people. I was talking to this one man and when done I started to pass out water to a few people standing around. I didn't see my friends so I thought I'd just chat a bit with a random man standing near me. He started telling me how sweet it was that I spend my time caring for people and giving water because when he was my age all he cared about was himself, drinking and partying. He went on and on until I stopped him and was like, "thank you so much for telling me this, it's such a blessing to hear, there is a reason I am like this..." and then proceeded to tell him it's because I long to live like Jesus, as we are called to. I told him all about the joy I have found in God our Savior and that I didn't understand what this meant until I was 18-- I told him some of my story and how Jesus rocked my world. I told him how great our God is and how he has fulfilled me. Anthony, upon hearing this was astonished at the joy I had and how he has never seen someone like me before. He told me he had heard before this living for Jesus stuff but never understood what it meant until right now, seeing it in me. He told me had met tons of Christians who go church all the time and do the good deeds, but he never has met one full of the Holy Spirit with a true desire to live like Him (which is sad to hear, where did the passion go?) It was as if God used me to connect the dots, I literally watched a light go on in him. Seeing this I took the opportunity to tell the story of Jesus and how marvelous and wonderful His story is. I explained the love of God to Anthony and who knows what else -- the holy spirit took my mouth and talked for the Lord, telling Anthony of what a great maker we have and so on. I have no idea what most of the stuff I said, I was blindly saying words, but they struck Anthony. I told him he could be saved and shared about salvation. He asked how to say a prayer so I asked if he wanted to receive Christ into His life and he said YESS!!!! I was so excited. He repeated the prayer after me and then I laid hands on him and prayed for Him. I felt the Holy Spirit present. I am so so so so excited for him! Talking with him after was awesome! He had the joy I had ! I saw it in him and I heard it. I asked him about it and he was in awe. He said he hasn't ever felt so joyful!! I talked to him for a bit more and got his number. I told him to start reading Mark and that I would call him tomorrow. He got so excited-like a little kid- and was thrilled because no one had ever called him (sad how the simple things to us are a big deal to others). He even said we can talk about the Bible and Jesus. Saying goodbye he told me He is so grateful because he has never had hope before!

I never intended to be God's vessel to lead this man to Christ, I was just going to chat with him while I waited for my friends. I am exploding with joy!! God was preparing his heart for this chance meeting and it's such an honor to be used by Him, I don't deserve it.I am so unworthy of this yet I still get to show the love of Jesus on others!!!

I am asking for prayer for our new brother in Christ, Anthony.

-First of all, GIVE GLORY TO THE LORD FOR HE IS GREAT!!!! REJOICE IN HIS NAME!!

-Pray he will plug into a church and find a mentor--such as a pastor

-Pray he stays clean from alcohol (Been sober for 2 years already) and continue with aa meetings (he wants me to go to one next week with him, I am going to go God willing)

-Pray the Lord will cure his anxiety

-Pray He will see God as the Father who will never leave him (as his earthly one did)

-Pray Christ will continue to reign in His life and he will grow immensely in Him

-Pray He can be a light for those around him on the streets

-Pray He learns what it means to be a follower of Jesus and will desire more of Him.

I ask for your prayers for Anthony, also I ask you spread his name in request for prayer. The more, the better.

GOD IS GOOD AND HE REIGNS!!

Jesus loves you

Peace.

The One With Skid Row

2009-10-25T00:10:00.007-07:00

Lately, I have been going down to Skid Row on Friday Nights, spending time handing out water to the homeless and spending time in fellowship with them- praying, playing guitar, talking, and/or just being. I love it. Last night seems extra awesome (except of course for the time my mother went with me :) ) . Usually we leave around 9:15, but this time we couldn't leave until 10 so we were late getting down there. God stalled us for a reason, a reason I want to share with you-- The four of us, each carrying a flat of water, were walking down 5th street in pursuit of finding the other 4 people we were meeting up with and as we passed by people sleeping, sitting, or walking we gave them water. One man walking the other way grabbed the bottle and asked for prayer, of course this is not something that happens too often, so I was excited. Naturally, I asked his name and if there was something specific. He told us how he just graduated in June valedictorian but he has struggles with addiction and this has landed him on the streets. He knows Christ but appears to be in a time of darkness. As soon as I laid hands on him to pray, electricity was beaming from my fingers-causing a shock like feeling and the Holy Spirit flooded over me. I have no idea what was prayed but I do remember propheting over his life -- this man is gonna do awesome things for God and I am so excited, every-time I think about or pray for Him this joy I can't explain over me just sweeps me off my feet. I am so so so pumped for him!!! He is going to be a leader and through him, others will come to follow Christ. He is going to do wonderful things and God is going to use this time on the streets for His glory!! I could go on but I have so much more to share.

At the end of our prayer session with him, another man was praying with us- I have no idea when or where he came from- he was just there when I opened my eyes. But anyway, he asked for prayer too. He didn't speak english, he spoke spanish. My high school german didn't help with interpreting what he wanted but fortunately a couple of the people I was with took Spanish in high school. He too struggles with addiction, and is having a hard time finding steady work. We laid hands on him and the holy spirit came too. Awesome time of prayer!! He too is gonna come out of this dark time and live for Him!! While we were still talking with him, another man walked up- so I went to him and he started to tell me about himself without me asking. He needed someone to talk to I think. I found out his story, very sad like most people down there. He has his Ph.D and yet, is without a home- I do have to say he was cleaner and had nicer clothes on then most of the folks I have met. Basically, his ex-wife cleaned him out and now he is on the streets and can't find a job at the moment. As I was praying over him, a couple came up and asked for prayer as well. I nodded since I was in the middle of praying and when I finished, I looked over at her and she was crying. I have no idea why, but I saw the pain in her eyes. She then tried to hide it and said "oh goodness, I'm gonna get beat up out here." and proceeded to try to stop. I just laid my hands on both of them-Lois and Daryl- and began to pray. The Holy Spirit was there and I know they have been surrounded by angels for protection. When I was done praying, Lois and I just held each other. I don't know how long, but it was a while. I talked a bit to her, trying to encourage her and help her find strength in the Lord. We eventually said goodbye.

In the meantime, the others had been trying to talk with the spanish speaking man. They too said goodbye and we met up with the other folk we came to meet.

I know God planned our late arrival for a reason. Had we of been on time, we would have probably of moved onto 6th street at the time we passed the first man. We never would have met him and none of the other people would have stopped for prayer. It's crazy how God works! he knows so much better then I could ever plan. These people stopped in humility, in desperation. They saw something in us causing them to approach us.

Also, It was obvious the police had gone through the area earlier doing a "sweeping" (where they randomly ticket and/or arrest everyone) because no one was in their usual spot and there weren't as many people as usual. Had they not of disorganized the streets, we never would have stopped to pray where we did. God is good!

We spent the remainder of the night on 6th street-talking, praying, and handing out water. I could go on and on telling stories of each person I met, they all are interesting, but I won't bore you. Although the last lady we talked with was very interesting. She was possessed and flat out told us she had demons living in her. We wanted to call them out in the name of Jesus but she wouldn't let us. At the time I let her tell me no, now I regret this, we should have just done it. I don't know what we were thinking, maybe it was her rambling about the drugs she had in her hand, the 6 names she has, or the fact that she was kissing us, but I regret it. I pray for her. I hope to see her next week so I can call them out, whether she's ok with that or not.

It was a good night, so many people just need someone to talk to, to show them they are worthy, to show them random strangers care, to show them God loves them.

The thing that sickens me is the way we view the homeless. So often we look at them and categorize them with prejudice thoughts. It's so easy to do so. I do it. I try so hard not to but I still do it. It's easy to look at the man on the corner as a screw-up, not a person. They too have a family, they too have a story, they too have a soul, they too have been formed God's image, they too are loved and adored by Christ, they too were bought with the blood of Jesus. We often look at them with pride and a thinking that we are better then them. But that is far from true. We are just as screwed up, we have sinned just as much, we have addictions too. Perhaps not the same, maybe it's addictions to money, to success, to politics, to busywork, to material goods, to sin. Don't get me wrong, I am not here to judge anyone, I am here to say that I am just as messed up as the people on the streets, if not more. I struggle with humility. I am learning what it looks like to be humble through grace. The friends I have made in skid row have been humble enough to accept me, to accept my arrogance, to accept my screwed up self. They have honored me with there friendship and they have allowed me to learn what it means to be like Christ, who was homeless.

God is moving down there. He is doing some great things. While I may not be able to see it, I can feel it. I am so excited to see what is going to happen. There is definitely a battle for this place, a spiritual one is raging on. However, we all know who prevails in the end-- Jesus! There's still a lot of work to be done, but it's gonna be good.

The One With A Man

2009-09-07T17:38:00.003-07:00

I know this man, in fact I am in love with Him.
He did something for me that takes my breath away.
He was beaten so bad He was unrecognizable, He was tortured in ways I can't imagine.
He was killed for me.
He has freed me from sin.
He loves me even though I go against His Word and sin daily.
He even blesses me all the time.
He has healed me and I mean literally.
He has transformed my life.
Because of Him I will have eternal life in a place I cannot comprehend.
He is a big deal.
He is the Son of God.
His name is Jesus.

I highly suggest you meet Him.
He knows you better then you know yourself.
He knows every move you make, every thought you think.
He will meet you wherever you are.
This is the most important decision you will make, ever.
You can reject or accept.
In your hands//heart is the consequence or the reward.

This is not a religion.
This is a relationship.

The One Where I am Back in the West

2009-06-19T01:06:00.003-07:00

This post is long over due. Apparently 3 am is an inspiring time to write. I have been back in Iowa for a good 5 weeks now. [The foods been great!] It’s been an interesting 5 weeks, included with trips to the ER as a patient and dressed in scrubs. I brought home a souvenir that scared the crap out of my family—A staph infection. It was in my armpit, I noticed it at first in Rwanda but I thought it was just razor burn. Then it got sore and by the time I got back to the US it decided to take over. I think it started out as razor burn but something got into the opening of the skin, probably from the water or something. I’ll spare you the details but it got pretty nasty and on a rare weekend when all 5 of us were actually together I showed it to them. Eric freaked. He was convinced I was going to die; this led the rest of my fam to think the same; forcing me to have the privilege of experiencing the worst pain of my life. [I changed my mind, I’m not gonna spare you all the details]. The doc had to dig around in my armpit with a knife, probably the size of a machete. And I’m talking deep. At least an inch and that’s not even exaggerating, that’s what my mom said (who doesn’t exaggerate). He tried to numb it but it was just too deep. He cleared everything out in about 10 minutes or so but it felt like 10 hours. That was about 4 weeks ago, it’s all healed except for bruising. The nice thing is the hair is minimal now. So not worth the pain though.

2 days later, I began EMT school at the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics. I just took my final Monday and passed with a 95%, not to brag or anything. In that time I did clinical time in the ER here in Iowa City and ambulance ride time with Johnson County. I got to see and help with a lot of cool things—especially since it’s a university hospital where they get all the cool stuff. To be nationally certified I have to take the national practical exam. There are 2 parts to it: the written and the mock calls. I did the most nerve-racking yesterday and have yet to take the written. There where 3 different scenarios I was put into. The first was cardiac arrest, so basically CPR and putting a tube in. the 2nd was trauma where a woman had a huge laceration in her leg, including having cut her artery, and the third was a chest pain. I had to go into these rooms where a national grading person sat and determined if we passed or failed. I was so nervous, but I prayed and felt confident. I went in there and kicked butt. I basically got into a zone and ignored the fact that this was such a big deal.

I’m finally going to Chicago this weekend to see Joy and Jenny. Oh, and picking Eric up at O’hare on Monday. I do look forward to hearing his stories about Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. The lucky duck, I wanna go to Asia! And a week from Monday, I’m having ankle surgery. LAME!!! Not the kind of thing I want to be doing in the summer. But it’s been a year and a half since I injured it so it’s about time I guess.

Adjusting has been interesting and defiantly not easy. I have been able to stay in touch with a few friends through email and facebook, it’s just hard for them because most of them have to go to internet cafes to access the internet. I miss it a lot. I try to not to talk about it. I try not to think about it. I try not to look at pictures. That’s probably not good, but it hurts too much. In fact, I’m getting tears in my eyes thinking about it. I think that’s why I don’t want to do an update. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if people ask me about it, it's when I have to dig and see faces and places to get an answer that sucks. I love those questions that are easy to answer without going into a memory. It's a selective memory I've got. I feel it’s easier to go about my daily life here and just focus on that and not let my mind drift to Africa. On those days when I do think about it, I don’t allow it to go very far. The second details come into my mind is the second I switch it off. I’m really good at ignoring things and not dealing with them. I don’t really know if any of this makes any sense but I don’t know how else to explain it. I can’t talk about this anymore. Sorry.

Have a good night/day.

Peace.

The One With the Sad Good Byes.

2009-04-22T12:21:00.004-07:00

Humpf. This will probably be one of my last posts. In the morning, I am going to Rwanda to learn about the genocide and their country since. I am sure it will be interesting but I don't want to go. Saying good-bye to my family was hard. One of my brothers cried all day. My mama didn't know we were leaving today until last night and when she found out she just cried...it made me sad so I just hugged her. I don't think I will say much more about that. it's not been easy. But I will say that I know this is not the last time I will see them, whether it be again in this life time or rejoicing to the Lord in Heaven. For this, I am grateful!!

I just wanted to let you all know I won't be on here for awhile so don't expect anything. Thanks for all the prayers and support!! I really appreciate it!

Peace

The One With My Messy Life but Clean Heart

2009-04-15T04:10:00.002-07:00

I am feeling bittersweet at this point. The end is near---which means no more homework, but that also means I will have to leave my family. I only have one more paper and a presentation, neither are due till Tuesday so I thought I would do another, hopefully more in depth update instead of working ahead. I am also waiting for my brother to get here for lunch…he said he was coming 2 hours ago, but then again he is Ugandan and that is how time works here.

I have so much to say, but the words don't come as easily as I hoped. I have not told much about the things I see, experience, and feel. I have only told a tiny percentage of life in Uganda, but I think I am on overload, there is so much to process.

The other day, I was walking to school and one of the girls I often greet gave me an envelope. In it were some letters asking me to pay for her school fees, books, uniform, food, and shoes. I am not sure how to respond, I know I can't just give her money. It's policy here (USP) but also, people can't be dependent on the Mzungu, and if I were to give the $$$ they would expect every white person to give something. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have been asked for money or food because they are hungry. The locals view the white man as a hero who has all the money in the world and bring luck. But in reality, we are just like them. We hurt. We are broke. We are desperate for a hero too. When I first got here, my sister told me how the neighbors would ask if we bathe, if we eat, if we sleep, if we use the toilet, and so on. It is sad that some people don't realize we are humans just like them. They think we are fragile and could easily break. I don' t know where these rumors come from but they don't realize we are one with them in Christ. The average Ugandan views the Mzungu as the savior, but in reality the only one who can give eternal joy and answer the needs is Jesus. He may choose or choose not to use the Mzungu as a tool. I get frustrated with many Christians here (US too, but this is about Uganda) who forget they need to be looking to Christ for help instead of to me. I am not the one who can save them, sure I can give them some Shillings, but that will only last so long until they need more and have to beg from another Mzungu. They should be putting their faith in Christ and in the eternal healing only He can provide.

Sometimes it’s the trials that make us complete, trusting in God is His desire. He wants us to be holy, but a problem occurs when we don’t want to be holy. God gives us the trials to be formed to the person He desires. If my greatest desire in life is to become like God and to be pure, then going through pain will get me closer to Him. In the times of trials, using praying and asking God for strength and eyes to see will be the only way to come out stronger and closer with Him. Jesus Christ did not come to save us from pain but to save us from sin. We are to expect pain. God sees everything, He sees beyond the trials and knows things are happening for a reason. We need to trust Him and know that He is forming. Persevering and standing through the trials with God at my side will be the only way to pass. Sadly, many people and even myself look at the hardships of life and blame God, they blame Him for not fixing all their problems and even for not fixing the problems of the world. Why do people blame Him? Sure, He allows these things to happen but surely there is a reason for this. Why is life so unfair and so many are hurting? Why does He allow such pain? In the book Compassion he says “The mystery of God’s love is not that our pain is taken away, but that God first wants to share that pain with us." God could take the pain away, but He has chosen not to because He wants to be a part of it with us. He values our relationship with Him so much that He wants us to come to Him. At the end of the trial, I can look back and see the growth I have made and the growth I have made in Him.

“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” (John 16:22, ESV).

I have decided to share with you all some excerpts from a paper I wrote.

The call has not been made to simply the disciples or myself, but every Christian has been called to take part in the Great Commission. As mentioned in class, it is time people stop sitting around waiting for the “I am called” moment and/or using another excuse. It doesn’t matter the color of one’s skin, the location in which they live, or the amount of money in their pocket, if one truly claims Jesus is Lord, then they have no reason to ignore the call He has made to all His people. We are given one life to live; if the love of Christ is sincerely in one’s heart, then living for His name is the most invigorating act one can carry out.

Many Christians mistakenly assume the Great Commission is only for the ones who have “been called” to live cross-culturally as Christian expatriates; however, once one has called on the name of Jesus Christ to forgive their sins and enter their hearts, they too are called to the Great Commission with no going back. To ignore this call is to be insincere about the faith one has in Christ. In Compassion, we are told to find those who are suffering and build a home there because that is the way of Christ. People are hurting all over the world, including my home country and even my hometown. There are many ways to partake in the Great Commission, whether that be going to China and planting a church or staying home and working in an office building, as long as the committed Christian lives a lifestyle for Jesus and evangelizes the Gospel to others. Personally, I do not know where the Lord is calling me to live and work or even what to do with my life, but I do know I need to stay faithful to Him and take my minor role in the Great Commission seriously.
....
With my future this near and the ever-dreaded “what are you doing with your life?” question being asked more often, I dwell on my possibilities. In Jinja, I saw a desperate need; there are many underdeveloped countries that lack suitable medical facilities. But then Luweero gave me a better understanding of the importance of staying and living locally. Before coming to Uganda, I was determined to get out of America and venture off to a foreign country where I could somehow assist in a medically enhanced manner. Now that I am in a foreign country that lacks proper medical equipment and sanitation, reality has struck me causing me to get selfish and to fight an internal struggle. Part of me wants to stay where it’s comfortable. I want to stay where I don’t have to worry about running out of medical equipment. I want to stay in the cleanliness and comfort of the west. But am I supposed to? Isn’t part of being a Christian going out of my comfort zone? And how much of a light can I be in a developed country? Or is going to another location in the world selfish when people are hurting in my own backyard? What if I go into the inner city or do some kind of work with immigrants? Or am I just coming up with excuses for wanting to stay where I am more comfortable?

In a moment of deep thought and frustration about my future, I looked up and read the words brightly painted on my family’s wall over the archway, serving me a reminder, “Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion which can never be shaken, never be moved (Psalm 125:1).” It struck me, I am sitting here, frustrated and discouraged about this paper, but more importantly with the nebulous path I am to take in life, yet I shouldn’t be. The slap Jesus just gave me helped my anxiousness to leave and the frustrations to dwindle. As long as I stand firm in my faith, Christ will lead me where I ought to be. God also reminded me of similar frustrations I had last semester and the words He clearly told me then, “That is for Me to know, not you. Have faith child.” I should not be looking to the future with anxiety but with joy in not knowing.

Now when asked, “what do you want to do?” I realize the only significant and worthy answer consists of, “I want to live my life for Jesus because He is the Resurrected King.” In His own timing and not mine, Christ will fill in the blank pages of my story something not so easy to always accept. But then again, peeking ahead will spoil the next page or even worse, the conclusion.

I sit here unsure of my future, unsure of what I really want to do, unsure of the Lord’s plan for my life, but I know that as long as I continue to listen to the little whisper He so often calls me with, I will be who I want to be: a daughter of the almighty God. He has called me to find those suffering in my midst and to be with them, something I can do and must do without relying on my physical location in this world.

This kinda shows you all where I am at right now. 100% unsure of life. I can tell you my plans till mid June, but not much past that. Sure I plan on going back to Biola next semester and finishing the next 2 years there, but how easily that could change. A few days ago, I was freaking out about my future (I do not easily stress). I was full of questions and frustrated with the lack of knowing. But now, I am 100% ok with this and just want to live with joy knowing Jesus is in my heart and will lead me on a path He has already shaped.

I am in a place in my life right now where I have no answers, not even for the letter the girl on my walk home gave me. All I can talk about is Jesus and His great love and desire for His creation to recognize Him and praise Him. Oh how He deserves all the glory. He is with me in my trials and knows the other end will be better off then my plan. My life may be messy before my eyes, but my heart is right and sings joy to the Lord!

OH HOW GLORIOUS AND WONDERFUL OUR MAKER IS!! TO HIM BE THE GLORY FOREVER AND EVER!!

Peace

The One With the Headless Chicken

2009-04-13T23:20:00.005-07:00

I hope you all had a good easter! it is so good to know that the Lord has resurrected!!
We went to church and came home and had a big lunch. i guess some things stay the same from culture to culture. My brother and i went on an easter egg hunt. We found lots of eggs! we even scrambled some later and they were quite tasty.

On Saturday, I killed a chicken and then disected it for the meat. It was quite interesting. My brother now thinks I am more man. haha. i was going to try and post pics on here, but the internet won't let me, perhaps i will try facebook instead.

I really don't have much time to be on here, but I wanted to give y'all a quick update. I had to write a poem for my African Lit class, just so you know i am horrible poet and kinda embarrassed by it but i will post it b/c i want to make it look like i wrote a long update.

I searched, I yearned
Yet here you were
You were waiting with open arms
My blindness hid you from me
Now, I know
Now I clearly see
You are holding my right hand
You are the father of love
Now, I know
Your love has given us free will
My finger slipped but harder you grabbed
You are father of all
Now, I know
My free will desires you most of all
There is nothing I crave besides you
Now, I know
You are the clouds
You are the seas
You are the blades of grass
You are all around me
Now, I know
I see you Jesus, I see you
I feel you in the wind
I hear you in the thunder
I smell you in the flowers
I taste you in the matoke
You are all around me
You are the strength of my heart
Now, I know
Now, I smell
Now, I hear
Now, I see
Now, I taste
Now, I feel
But can others?
Can they hear?
Can they see?
Can they taste?
Can they feel?
Can they smell?
Now, I know
It’s time for them to know too
It’s time for you to grab tight to their right hand
Now, I know
Others hurt
Others cry
Others are losing
Now, I know
I must do something
Your hand has led me this far
Now, I know
It’s time for the hurting to be healed
It’s time for the lost to be found
It’s time for the broken to be restored
And Now, I know
So …
What am I going to do?
What am I going to say?
What will I do for …
The begging man on the corner?
The homeless child searching for food?
The prostitute looking for her next job?
The grumpy cashier at the market?
The school girl asking me for 500?
The boda driver sharing his profound love for me?
Now, I know
Now, I know the truth
How am I going to act?
How will I change my ways?
How will I show them love?
How will I get over my selfishness?
Now, I know
To ignore can be no more
Now, I know
How will they?
How will the lost be found?
Now, I know
Now, it’s time they know.

The One With The Lion King

2009-04-09T23:25:00.001-07:00

Here I am sitting on the last day of official classes, less than a week before finals and a million papers are due and I have mixed feelings. I want classes to be over, I want to be done with papers and presentations, but once they are done, this means I only have a short time before we leave for Rwanda and then fly back to the states. While the calender tells me I still have about a month here, I know the time will fly by and quite frankly, a month is not long enough. I only have 2 weeks left with my family :(.

Last weekend, I got to go on a safari. All I could think of is the Lion King. We saw lions, and elephants (in fact and elephant charged at our car, luckily we had just started driving away), and water buffalo, and all kinds of other animals. Hippos even camped with us at our camp site. Also, a warthog (which I call Pumba) stuck its nose in our tent. I got to hear a leopard catch its prey-- a lovely sound. There are many strange sounds that animals make, especially late at night.

Sorry this is going to be short. I need to be a good student for the first time this semester and write a paper....

Peace

The One With Life.

2009-03-30T00:48:00.007-07:00

First of all, I would like to sincerely thank everyone who sent me a card and/or box. It means a lot to me that you took the time out of your day and thought of me. I recommend not sending any more packages becasue the mail system is random and can't count on a delivery before I leave for Rwanda.

I am not really sure what to update anymore. Life here is just like living daily life, I am so used to it it's hard to know what people would want to read. I will try to give something.

Last Friday we went on a field trip to the Buganda Parliment building and the Kabaca's Palace. Having been to a lot of touristy places like these in the past, I felt these were rather more plain looking. On the land of the Kabaca's Palace is an underground torture area. I don't know how many of you have seen The Last King of Scotland about the president Idi Amein who regined in the 70's. The man giving us the tour said the president's actions were much worse then seen in the movie. In the torture chamber they filled it with water and put lines of electricity running into the water. Also while we were in this chamber, in the last room there were a bunch of bones. We were told they were remains from the many people killed. Once one entered this area, they weren't coming out alive. In this place, I could feel an intense dark spiritual battle. It was hard to witness. I can't imagine what Rwanda is going to be like. I just watched Sometime in April last night, it's about the 1994 genocide. If you want to cry for 2 hours, I recommend that movie. The thing that makes it so hard is the reality it is. I was watching it and thinking this is true- 800,000 people killed in 100 days. How could people do this to one another?

On a brighter note, I went to Kampala on Saturday to watch a couple of friends get baptized. It took place at Lake Victoria and on the same beach was at least a thousand of indivduals dancing and singing and many of them to be what looked liked to be getting baptized. However, we found out it was actually a colt and people were money to be dunked in the water for "healing."

Yesterday, I spent the day hanging out with my sister. We had a lot of fun and it was nice to have a low key day.

Our house has been under construction for the past few weeks so everything has been crazy. I finally put my mosiquto net back up last night and yet I still managed to get attacked with many bites. My hands are covered in bites. The other night one of our dogs ate one of our cats. I bet it tasted like chicken...

I know there is more I could say, but for today I am done with an update. I have homework I need to be doing.

Peace.

The One With The Fight Against The Nile

2009-03-16T00:05:00.005-07:00

Sorry, it’s been a while. Lots has happened and frankly, I’d rather live my life then type about it. But I will still be kind to my mother and update. Considering she called me yesterday just to beg for an update...

--By the grace of God, I got to go rafting on the Nile. Also, by the grace of God, I survived. Last Friday, a group of 26 American students set out for Jinja where we stayed in a youth hostel with hot showers! This was my first shower in over 2 months. It was actually a very strange feeling, but my back is the cleanest it’s been and I hadn’t washed my hair in 8 weeks, I did that too!

Saturday morning we woke, ate breakfast, put on a helmet and life vest, and jumped into the back of a truck. We made our way down to the Nile and split into groups of 5 or 6, got a raft, a guide, grabbed a paddle, and began our adventure down the Nile. My group included 3 IMME and 3 USE students, it was good to mix it up with some on-campus students. Team Smashley (changed to the name of Flashy Smashy by our guide) consisted of Nicole, Chuck, Emily, Kristen, and Ashley with the team guide as Nathan- a 24 yr old with the sweetest job ever. He is professional kayaker and has traveled around the world for competitions. He was pretty awesome and quite hilarious.

We began our journey down the Nile with some flat water so the guide could explain safety and what to do. Within 5 minutes of being on the raft, we came upon some grade 2 rapids, just before reaching them our guide was like “Jump out.” All 6 of us just looked at one another debating whether or not he was serious (he liked to joke a lot) and when he said it again, we al just did it and jumped. We were the only boat to do this. Ha. We “floated” the rapids and were allowed back in the boat, it was actually pretty fun. Another 5 minutes in the boat and going over more orientation crap and flipped the boat. Good practice for the rapids I spose. I just found this whole thing quite funny. The guide was crazy and everything was striking me as hysterical.

We made our way further down the Nile and reached our first major rapid of a grade 4. We made it through just fine and got to the next rapid named 50/50, which should really be called 95/5. Almost instantly our boat decided it didn’t like us anymore so it flipped us out. On the way out of the boat, I managed to get into a fight with my paddle, but don’t worry I beat its butt. The Nile was waiting for me; it too wanted to fight, it put up a good one too. It held me under but I’m feisty and was ready to fight. I fought back and was able to get some air before round 2. This happened a few more times until I punched hard and got out of that current. I just rode the rest of the rapids in the water. I was having a blast, I never had the thought I could drown—the only thought I had similar to that is, oh I should get some air. Thinking about it now, I find that strange. But seriously all I could think was I need to get one of these, it’s so fun. Each time the current pulled me under, I just said ‘oh no you didn’t, I gots to breath and you don’t so try me, I will win.’ -which I did. I did end up with a fat lip and new tattoo on my face. It looks quite lovely. Well, once I got outta that spot and down the rapids, I was having so much fun I forgot to get rescued. It didn’t even cross my mind until a kayaker came outta nowhere and made me stop having so much fun and grab his kayak. He took me to my upside down raft, where everyone was already waiting; we flipped it over and hopped on.

The next rapid came around the bend and was a 5, the longest and hardest one of the day. It gave us a good ride. We stayed in the boat this time. We did a few more rapids ranging from 3-5 and then had a break in between so we all jumped in the water and floated some of the way. But the funniest part is when I went to jump, I was told to do a canon ball and when I went to do it, I slipped and did the best belly flop in town.

We got back in and did a few more rapids, tried to flip our boat but we couldn’t. Team Smashley just had too much skill. We had another stretch between rapids so we had the coolst picnic ever. We ate fresh pineapple floating down the Nile, looking at the monkey, water snakes (no thanks) and HUGE lizards. This time we weren’t allowed to get in the water because they have crocodiles in this part of the Nile.

We finally got to the next rapid, only it wasn’t a rapid; it was a freakin waterfall! I am not kidding or exaggerating on this, its name is even Bujagali Falls. This time, due to the recommendation of the guide and the shallowness of the area and rocks everywhere, we decided to try and stay in the raft. We went down and were quickly losing balance, tipping the boat. All of us started tumbling towards the water, but somehow stayed in. it boggles my mind. When we were clear of the rapid, we all stared at one another in disbelief. All we could think was ‘what just happened? How are we still in this raft?’ for like 5 minutes we couldn’t believ we were still in the raft. At one point, I was literally touching the water when the raft began tipping. Jesus held us in. that’s the only explanation I can get to.

As the boat moved towards the next level 5 rapid, we found out the name of it is The Dead Dutch Man. A man died trying to go down the rapid with just a jerry can and he died. Yeah, that wasn’t the best idea. There is no way any one would survive without the proper equipment. Well after the rapid there is a section of the river that forms a little holding pool tyoe thing. Apparently right after the rapids and edged on a rock towards the holding water was a dead body. I never saw it, thankfully, but a lot of my friends did. at first, they thought it wsa fake, but the guides made it evident that it wasn’t. they tried distraction techniques too. The body was turning colors and with the detail and description from those who saw it, it was real. The guides made it clear it was real, though they had never seen it before. I’m glad I didn’t see it.

We went on because there was nothing we could do. We got to the next few rapids and tried flipping, but couldn’t for some reason. I guess it’s because we are too awesome.

Around the next bend, I heard the loudest set of rapids and became anxious, but right before we reached them, we were told to paddle to the shore. We had to get out because the grade of this one was a 6+. It was wicked! One of the kayakers went through it (and survived), it was crazy intense. We carried the raft towards the end of the rapid, but not quite to the end. We put the boat back in the water and got in. this was the only time I was genuinely nervous/scared. We rafted through the last section of the rapid and did not die. The boat before us landed in a whirlpool area upside down, trapping some of the peeps under for a good minute. I was so nervous! But we made it through. I am surprised we didn’t flip. It was nuts!
We got out of the boats and loaded a truck and went to a BBQ. The perfect way to end a full day of rafting. I want to go again! Anyone wanna come over and go?? It’s the perfect excuse.

The rest of the time in Jinja was spent hanging around. Some of us went to a Chinese restaurant. We were curious about Ugandan Chinese food. I must say, it was quite tasty. Some people went bungee jumping, but I decided not to so I could experience my first time falling through the air with my mother when we go skydiving. ☺

Peace.

The One where I Ask for Prayer

2009-03-11T23:29:00.003-07:00

I don't have time this week to do a real update, I actually have homework to do...

But I am requesting prayer for my brother here in Uganda. I cannot go into further detail as to why at this time, but please please pray.

Thank you all so much!! I know how powerful prayer is and the more people pray the better! The Lord is so good!!

The One Where I Don't Have Time To Actually Update

2009-03-09T07:19:00.003-07:00

This isn't really an update, but I just thought I would let y'all know I put some pictures from Kapchorwa up on Facebook. Check em out!

The One With The Mountains.

2009-03-05T01:13:00.003-08:00

Another Installment from the bush.

On my second day, I had another interesting visitor to my bed. This time it was a little bigger and a little more startling than the previous ones. It was a chicken! The chickens go where ever they want and the door to my room didn't close all the way and one early morning one jumped up onto my bed. It was hilarious but not my kind of alarm clock.

On the subject of interesting animal stories, after a week in our home stays all 38 students went to Sipi Falls and stayed there for a couple days. One day we went hiking in the mountains and I hadn't eaten for a couple days so that wasn't the smartest idea. The trails here don't zig zag up like in America, but the trail goes pretty much straight up/down. It was hard. I only fell going down twice. I found this quite remarkable. The ankle didn't appreciate this but whatev. It was gorgeous but a strenuous hike, in fact there was a section of it that had a ladder made becasue it wsa so steep. First, we hiked down to the bottom of the falls and then went up the other side. Well, being weak from no food for 2 days and going up so fast caused a major drop in blood sugar. I was about to pass out, so I stopped. I was shaking really bad so a friend gave me a juice box and it helped get sugar into me. As we continued climbing, the Lord taught me humility. I have a hard time accepting help for some reason. But I couldn't do it alone. One of the local Ugandans took my hand to help me steady myself. At first, I fought off his hand because I was determined to do it alone, however, God was like "girl, you are gonna learn humility and accept help becasue otherwise you ain't gonna make it." So after a struggle with myself, I allowed him to help me. At first, I was not ok but as time went on, I learned how to accept the help. It was such a silly way to learn such an important lesson. But now I am glad for it. As we were crossing the main road to continue on with the hike, some others had decided to go back and I knew I needed to too so I wouldn't pass out on anyone. We walked the main road back. It was much easier then the side of the mountain. We got back and I drank more juice. I felt a million times better so I decided to take a shower. There are 2 showers and my friend was in one, so I took the other and the door didn't latch all the way. In the middle of my shower the door opened and a cow walked in! I couldn't believe my eyes! A cow was in my shower with me! It just wanted a drink of water. Ha! That was definietly a memorable shower.

After some of us cleaned up we went to a coffee plantation. We learned all the steps, well in Africa, it takes just to make a cup of coffee. It was really interesting. We made our own cup of coffee right off the plant! It was delicious! The freshest cup I've ever had.

The next morning was Sunday so we took a little jaunt up to the tippy top of the mountain. It was gorgeous!! We could see all the land for kilometers! We had an awesome worship service up there!

Back to my time with my family in Kapchorwa [sorry, I am jumping all over the place]. My mom there is only 32-- her eldest is 15. You do the math. She is young and I think we clicked so well becasue we were more of friends, I dunno. She is an amazing woman! I really look up to her! Her faith is so strong! Every morning she came into my room at 6:30 to wake me up and pray with me but then she wouldn't let me get up yet. She made me go back to sleep until 8. Which feels like I am sleeping in when I wake up at 8! I get excited to sleep till then! How weird is that?! I remember when I was in America and slept until 1 in the afternoon... Anyways, our morning prayers blessed me so much! I was talking with her about how grateful I am for having the opportunity to join their family and she goes "You know, God is amazing! It's so good to see how he plans these things out. He knew before either of us were born that we would have this experience with one another. He has blessed my family with your presence."

I wish I could continue writing, but I have to read a book for class in 40 minutes...

More later.
Peace.

The One With Compassion

2009-03-04T06:50:00.003-08:00

Another Installment from Kapchorwa.

One of my cousins in rural Uganda works for Compassion International-- for those of you who don't know what Compassion is it's a child sponsorship organization. They range from small children and you can even sponsor students to attend a university- there are some students here on campus sponsored.
Well, I had the privilege of chatting with him and asking him questions, it was amazing to be on the receiving side. My little 6 year brother is sponsored. As lame as this sounds, I never thought much about the sponsored children. I saw them as a poor little kid who had nothing to eat and I pitied them. But my eyes were opened. Benja is a happy, healthy little boy who loves doing little boy things just like any little boy in America. He is human, not a picture. I never realized how much brings into a community when a child is sponsered. It provides schooling for a child, thus paid teachers. Gives clothes, thus seamstresses. It gives a healthy amount of food, thus more for the farmers. And the cycle continues. Yes, the community recieved a push from peeps in America, but now they can sustain businesses and have money for the necessities of life. The economy of the local area recieved a major boost from the outside and I cannot tell you how amazing this is to see!!

Along similar lines, it's not just the West helping those in need. It's the ones who need that are helping! Every Sunday, my mother goes to a "party" with fellow women of the community. I had the honor to attend while in Kapchorwa. Each woman brings what money they have left from the week and puts it together and it provides schooling costs (school is not free here) for one of their children. Since not all kids in the area are sponsered, the community takes care of them. With the little money left over each week and instead of keeping it for themselves or saving it, they pull it together and do this amazing thing when they have little themselves. I was/am so blown away by this. This is the body of Christ in action!

Another Kapchorwa installment to come later. And one with pictures-- it won't let me add any today.

Peace.

The One With the Rural Beginnings.

2009-03-02T02:50:00.000-08:00

I am back from Kapchorwa. I had an AMAZING week! So much to tell and not a lot of time, I will have to do this in separate installments.

First of all, I can eat again! Not a lot and random days I still can’t, but I am getting there. The family I stayed with didn’t understand the fact I can’t eat a lot so I got really good at feeding the chickens and dog when they weren’t looking. I also played with the food to make it look like I was eating. I got good at that too.

I am also a little surprised I left without a husband, or at least a fiancé. Not kidding, I got proposed to 7 times in 10 days. All by different guys too. My second night there, my mom was trying to arrange a marriage with the neighbor who is 29! A little old for my taste. His name was Sam and for the remainder of the week he kept bringing it up. In this culture, a bride price must be paid. The norm is 7 cows, well one guy offered my parents 40 cows! I was really tempted to take him up on that. I was seriously close to calling my parents and asking them if that’s cool. I guess I’m worth something here. I also have plans to go Kenya in August ;). I was asked to go back to Kenya with one of the guys to meet his family. I told him I would go. I hope he doesn’t get too broken hearted when I don’t show up.

My mother is a primary teacher and my father is a farmer and owns a little shop. They have 4 kids, the eldest is 15 and 13—they are both at boarding school so they weren’t there. But the youngest 2 were there, Benja is 6 and Queen Esther is 18 months. She was a brat, but still cute. Benja was awesome, I played with him a lot. I also got to go to school with my mom everyday. That was quite awesome. I literally hung out with 400 kids. They love to sing and always wanted me to sing to them. I couldn’t remember many songs so I made them up. Haha. Except for the hokey pokey and the chicken dance, they never heard the same dong twice. The hokey pokey was a hit. The first time I did it and finished, I got a standing ovation. You would have thought I had just performed the ninth symphony blind and deaf.

I learned how to carry things on my head. I am pretty good at it now. It’s not as hard as it looks, except when you have an entire tree trunk on your head walking up hill for half a mile. But it was definitely interesting.

I have class soon so more to come later. Peace.

The One With The Day I Can't Remember.

2009-02-17T02:22:00.009-08:00

Not too much is new around here except my health is slowly retuning to me :).

The medicine is finally working and I can take in liquids! This is a major accomplishment for me!! I was so dehydrated, I even blacked out. I haven't told anyone that until now actually- I didn't want to freak anyone out. I was at home walking down the hall to grab something in my room when everything went black and I collapsed. I was also very weak and in my own little world. I am just happy to drink again!! I still can't eat, it's been 10 days now so I have been drinking more than just water to help with the energy level. I keep thinking I can, so as I am about to get a piece of bread or something easy, my stomach freaks out. I don't if it's a lack of something or my meds but I have been extra delusional lately. I have had a few major freak outs. I could swear I felt every molecule in my body. At one point, I could feel my finger nails growing and so on. I also was convinced I didn't sleep an entire night and had my eyes open, but then in the morning it quickly became evident I dreamed the entire night. Especially when I thought my dreams had been real and I referred to them and people thought I was insane. I have also been convinced there were a few earthquakes throughout the past 2 days, but then when I ask someone if they felt it they look at me as if I were crazy. And a few more random things I have done that arn't normal. Haha. I find this all very funny.

I spent most of the weekend at home due to weakness, but it wasn't bad. I do enjoy hanging out with my family! I did take a couple ventures into Mukono. It's probably a mile and a half walk there, so not too bad. The name of the village I live is Nabuti (Na-booty). Bah. I love it. It's so cute and fun!

Sunday was my birthday. At midnight, my brother and I were still up playing cards and hanging out. He disappeared, I didn't know the time nor did I remember at the time it was my birthday. He came back with a little sign he had made that said Happy Birthday. It was so cute, it looked like a 7 year old made it, but he is 19. We went to bed, woke up, and walked to church. I was so dizzy and still dehydrated. At the point I was able to drink but only a little at a time or it wouldn't stay down. When I woke up and until after church I had once again forgotten it was my birthday until my sister said Happy Birthday. We didn't really do anything. My brother taught me how to play chess and we get competitive when we play games so it was fun beating him my first time playing. Didn't much else but go into Mukono and get Sprite and played with the village kids. I taught them the chicken dance a while back and now I can't go anywhere without someone trying to get me to join in with them.

Monday came and I had more energy then the past 2 weeks and it was great. Phil, the intern, played Happy Birthday to me on his Ukulele and then later in the day came into class and played again, this time having the entire class join in. It was nice of him to do that, technically the most celebrating that was done. But they don't really celebrate birthdays here except for dumping water on you. My family didn't do this becasue I was sick :). On my walk home, I even had enough energy to dance and play with the village kids. I hadn't done this in quite a while so it was fun to get back out there.

Last night I got another visitor while I was sleeping. This time it was a cockroach. Eww. I woke up and something has on my arm, i flicked it off, but then it returned so I opened my eyes and half way freaked out. I opened my mosquito net and flicked it out. I didn't sleep the remainder of the night.

My friend Suzan just gave me a poem she wrote for my birthday. It was sweet. She is a very funny gal. She has gone with me into town a few times and helped me haggle to make sure I don't get the Muzungu price, which I appreciate. She also translates what the Boda Boda drivers (type of taxi system) are saying to me when I pass. Not all of them are appropiate but I did get offered a free ride. Well that's about all for now. I don't know if I will get on here before the end of the week, but I will try. Just as a warning, on Friday we are going West into the Bush to do our Rural Home stays for 10 days or so.

Suzan

Peace.

The One With Helicopters

2009-02-12T05:43:00.007-08:00

It's been an interesting week so far.

This past weekend we went to Rakai, we were 14 miles from Tanzania and climbed a hill that gave us the most gorgeous view of the land! The 6 hour trip took us on roads that reminded me of Malawi and I began to miss the people God blessed me with last summer in that beautiful African country. We were out in a more rural area at the Kibaale Community Center. We stayed there and had the pleasure of touring a bit of what they do for the community. They are based out of Vancuver, Canada and have an amazing ministry! They have a school with over 800 children-- each child is fully sponsered by someone at their "partner" school and church in Canada. They also have a health care center for the community, water well projects, & numerous others I cannot remember at the moment. Their work is seriously inspiring!
[Above picture: view from top of the hill we climbed, right picture: A current village school, yes this is still in use today]

I was feeling better over the weekend and was able to eat. Our trip home made me start feeling sick again, I do get car sick so I thought that was the problem. I got back to my families house and eventually went to sleep, in the middle of the night I woke up and had to vomit. I am going to tell you more details so be ware... I couldn't throw up in the toliet becasue the house is locked at night so I swallowed. Nasty, yes! This happened a few more times until I was finally able to go outside and make it to the toliet. For the rest of the day, I threw up on the hour- most of it was just bile. Which is disgusting. One of our interns thought I should go to Kampala to the British medical clinic that is a lot better that the Mukono options. So I did. They gave me pills to stop the vomiting and wanted to do a test. I had nothing in me so I couldn't that day. They gave me the container and was told to come back with it full. On Tuesday, I started to throw up again so I was advised to go to the free clinic on campus. They tested me for malaria found out I was negative, the doctor goes "I don't know what you have so take these pills" They gave me 3 different kinds of medicine, I didn't know what they were so I just take any of them. I was able to eventually get my sample and in the midst had to throw up. Let's just say that was an awkward and disgusting experience I am trying to block from my mind. Me typing this doesn't help. Haha.
Wednesday morning Phil [the intern] and I made our way to Kampala once again. Depending on traffic, it's roughly an hour. I got in and the doctor took a urine sample and apparently I have a Urinary tract infection. Which was news to me. They also took my blood and tested that. I waited 20 minutes and got my results. I was surprised how fast they got them back. Normally everything is just the opposite in Uganda. It was definitely faster than the USA! It turns out I have a bacteria called Helicobacter pylori, but pronouced Helicopters. I keep imagining little helicopters flying around my stomach, which makes sense since it feels like my intestines are being ripped out.
They put me on a bunch of medicine, but it's hard keeping it down. Swallowing it once is not the case, but I get to swallow it about 3 times each time. I am also very dehydrated. I can't really keep much water down but I have been able to figure out that a little sip will stay so that's what I do.

In the end, God is good! I won't let this set me back and I will continue on with Him at my side!

P.S. I finally uploaded pictures into an album on facebook. There are a lot more there, so go take a look!!

The One With Blue Like Jazz

2009-02-05T21:10:00.000-08:00

I don’t know if you have read Blue Like Jazz By Donald Miller, but I would highly recommend it if you haven’t. I haven’t read the full book yet, but the 2 random chapters I have read where quite insightful. They are actually making it into a movie; we will see how that goes.
For now, I am gonna pull some quotes that have struck me.

Ch. 2 pg. 13
“I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from capturing God.”

--This is so true! I had not realized it until I read this. I couldn’t even tell you how many times I have gone to church and just do the routine. Sing, greet, sit, stand, sit, stand, sit, listen and/or try not to fall asleep, repeat when necessary, etc. I recite a prayer before I eat, do I know what words I am really saying? I pray before bed. This is ridiculous, instead of focusing on God, I have fallen into this routine and don’t see Him there anymore. The devil is tricky, but I have Christ on my side so I will win. I will not let him blind me anymore.

Ch. 2 pg. 14
“If you don’t love somebody, it gets annoying when they tell you what to do or what to feel. When you love them you get pleasure from their pleasure, and it makes it easy to serve. I didn’t love God because I didn’t know God.”

--I have found that people, even for myself, have a hard time listening to God’s commands and get frustrated when Christians tell them yes to this and no to that and when they ask why? The answer is because God says this or God says that. But now it makes so much more sense to me. People have a hard time listening/following Him because they haven’t really gotten to know God and therefore haven’t fallen in love with Him. I think this is true for myself. Until the past couple of years, my relationship with Him was not real. It was ‘I believe in you’ but I never took the time to understand Him, get to know Him, or allow myself to truly love Him. I think this is something I am still working on. It doesn’t happen over night but is a process; although I am getting there. There are still days when I want to go against Him because of my free will but the more I fall in love with Him, the less I desire to do the opposite of what He says. I am not saying that I will fall madly in love with Him and never go against Him, because I am human this cannot happen. I will never fully understand what it means to fully, completely, and passionately love Him until I am in His presence because I am disconnected from Him and cannot understand Him.

Ch. 11 pg. 105
“ I don’t know if we really like pop-culture icons, follow them, buy into them because we resonate with what they believe or whether we buy into them because we think they are cool.”
“Who cares what I believe about life, I only care that I am cool.”

--It’s so easy to get caught up in modern day America where we follow people and have heroes for no reason. We want to be associated with them and we want to be the coolest person on the block. I know I struggle with this. It is so easy to fall into this trap. I want to have modern clothes, I want to fit into the stereotype of what defines cool. And when someone doesn’t fit into our definition of cool, we ridicule him or her and call them weird. We look down upon them instead of loving them and praising them for having the bravery to stand out. America tells us to be an individual and to stand out, but as soon as they do, they get mocked. Living for Christ can be scary because it makes you stand out but if you’re truly passionate about Him, you will have the strength to be apart from what society tells us is cool. Which is something I am still working on.

Ch. 11 pg. 106-107
“Satan wants us to believe in meaningless things for meaningless reasons. Can you imagine if Christians actually believed that God was trying to rescue us from the pit our own self-addiction? Can you imagine? … If we believed the right things, the true things, there wouldn’t be very many problems on earth.”

--I agree. If we understood what was truth and what were lies and instead of getting mixed up in believing falsehoods, we would have a grasp on this planet and on the wickedness of Satan and have an easier time defeating Him. But the devil is a trickster and wants to deceive you away from Christ.

Ch. 11 pg. 107
“Even our beliefs have become trend statements. We don’t even believe things because we believe them anymore. We only believe things because they are cool things to believe.”

-- I find this more true now than ever. With this past election, I would ask people why they are voting for Obama. I always got the same answer: Because it’s time for change. Well, duh! Any new president would be change. I would ask them to elaborate and they would a little but they skimmed the surface and didn’t know much else. He was the popular man to vote for and he has many followers who don’t even know much more about him than the basics. They couldn’t tell me anything about his policies and I got the feeling people got caught up in the “coolness” of his figure. I am not saying I don’t do this. I am by all means guilty of this. I went to church my whole life and believed in God and Jesus’ death because it was the thing to believe in church and in my family. It was not until I did my own soul searching did I find an actual, true belief in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

Ch. 11 pg. 107
“The problem with Christian belief – I mean real Christian belief, the belief that there is a God and a devil and a heaven and a hell- is that it is not a fashionable thing to believe.”

--I cannot tell you the number of times I have run across people who think that as long as they are a “good” person then they will go to heaven. But here is my question, why should you get to go to everlasting paradise when you did not live for Jesus and still sinned. Sure, you didn’t murder anyone and you helped the poor, but what did you do for God? Why should he allow you in heaven when you didn’t obey or worship Him on earth? He doesn’t need YOU, you NEED Him. He is perfectly fine without you, but he still loves you and desires you and has mercy on you. In fact, He sent His son to die for you and all you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth and live for Him. Here is my problem, I am selfish and want to live my way. It’s not always easy living for Him, but it is worth it because in the end I will be rewarded.

Ch. 11 pg. 110
“All great Christian leaders are simple thinkers…when Jesus says feed the poor, He means you should do this directly…what I believe is not what I say I believe, what I believe is what I do.”

--I think these phrases have said it perfectly. Christianity should not be made into something elaborate or technical but is simple. Act out what you believe, show it. And do as He says without adding your own spin to it.

Ch. 11 pg. 111
“Living for something is the hard thing. Living for something extends beyond fashion, glory, or recognition. We live for what we believe.”

--I say I am a Christian and I believe in the Bible, but do I show it? Do I actually live it out? Or do I just say I believe and live a totally separate lifestyle? It is easy. There are no buts, so just do it.

I could probably quote the entire book because it is so good, well the 2 chapters I have read. I learned a lot and I pray you can look at these quotes and understand what they mean and the importance they talk about and also impact you as it did me.

The One Where I become a Witch

2009-02-04T21:13:00.003-08:00

It is sometimes hard to get the motivation to update this. You know it would be a lot easier for you all to just come here and observe for yourself, but then what would be the point of a blog?

This place gets crazier and crazier. But it’s funny and I love it!!

So I was talking with one of my sisters the other day. I asked her when Stella, my other sister, is due to give birth. She goes “Michelle, If I didn’t know you, I would think you are a witch.” I was taken aback by this and asked why? She told me because I know so much and in this culture, if you know a lot you are presumed to be a witch. I am an observer so when I see things I will later ask about them and my sister always asks me how I know that? I just give my simple answer of “I know everything” but now she really thinks I do know everything. Now, she always goes “Michelle, You know everything, you KNOW everything!!” I find this hilarious. I mean come on people, she is due in marchish. It’s kind of obvious she is preggo. Apparently, I knew before mama though. And yes, Thea, they do know where babies come from. [I told her this story on the phone the other day and my mom asked that question, I thought it quite funny.]

The road rules here go: the biggest wins! Semis, buses, trucks, vans, cars, boda bodas (motorcycles), bikes, pedestrians, and then livestock. You seriously have to be careful, the drivers are crazy! The other day my papa was driving us somewhere and as he was turning the corner, someone was in the way and he hit them!! I was mortified! But my dad just kept going! Before your imagination gets away from you, let me first tell you he hit the passenger’s side (America’s drivers side) and of course I was sitting there. I was ready to get out and see if he was all right but nope, papa just kept driving. I did turn around and watch and he was fine. He just kept walking. No one said anything either. And papa barely noticed. In America, you would get sued!

So there are these kittens around the house and as much as I hate them, (I have realized I really don’t like cats) I like them being around because they eat things like cockroaches. In fact, I was just watching one eat a rat bigger than it! It was disgusting and I have no clue how it caught it but dang that cat has talent.

I have a 30 minute walk and there are 3 certain spots where I have gotten to know some kids. I stop and play soccer with some for about 10 minutes then another place where a bunch walk up the road with me, and the final spot where 3 little girls would walk me home, but the 3 has multiplied to 8. And when I get home, I do the chicken dance and do father Abraham in the front yard with them. Everyday more and more kids come. Yesterday there were about 20 kids. Then they all tried to come into the courtyard with me. I had to force them away. I have fun with them but they are starting to push it too far.

I thought my brother Mike lived with us but then now I don’t know. Some days he stays here and some days he doesn’t. It’s confusing me! I asked about it and was told he lives here, but then someone else told me he lives somewhere else. I don’t even know if they know!

My brother, Sister, native friend Suzan, Geoff (fellow USPer) and his brother all went to Kampala on Saturday. We went to the Ugandan version of So you think you can dance, only hip hop style. It was pretty awesome! They have some serious talent. They were all break-dancing it up! The bummer part is it was outside and blazing hot! I got dehydrated and I hadn’t eaten anything all day so we left a little early and went to a more American version restaurant and I ate a salad! It was so good! and very exciting to have veggies and something different! But it didn’t help me feel better. The entire ride home in a mutatu van that fits 15 people but they stuff as many that will fit – their public transport system where they try to sell you rides, quite funny – made things worse. I got car sick and the only thing I could think of was how miserable I was and wanted my mom and America! When we FINALLY got home, I went straight to bed and slept through church.
I wasn’t feeling fully better but well enough to where Sarah and I decided to cook dinner for the family. We went to town and the market and bought the stuff to prepare. Sarah doesn’t really know how to cook so I had to be director - which I didn’t mind ;). We made pasta. They don’t have marinara sauce here so I made up a recipe and prayed it wouldn’t taste horrible. I used tomato paste, water, freshly diced onion and garlic, oregano, salt, pepper, and something else. It was actually tasty. I defiantly impressed myself. We also made garlic bread but they don’t have ovens so I made it over the charcoal in a pan grilled cheese style. It actually tasted amazing! We also made fried apples. I had never made that before so I just kinda made that up as well. I put butter in a pan, cut them into pieces, fried them and shook them with cinnamon and sugar. They were actually quite delicious!! My family told us this is the first American meal the entire family liked and they all ate it up. I want to thank my brother Brian for making me watch food network and allowing me to observe his amazing cooking skills! I would have been clueless if it weren’t for him.

The bummer part of all this is I threw it all up! I hadn’t been feeling too well all day, but I ignored it until I could no longer. Fortunately, no one else was sick so I know it’s not food poisoning, but a lame immune system on my part. I went to school Monday but left early because I felt horrible. I came home and threw up. So I just went to bed for a while. I woke up later and threw up some more and then got nasty diarrhea, prepare for the nasty graphics I feel compelled to share with you but it was like pee coming out my butt. I have never had it this bad before. like ever, it kinda scared me. But what was I to do? So I just went some more & threw up some more and eventually went to bed. I woke the next day and decided to skip school, so I slept till 1ish. This freaked out my family. They felt I should eat, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. They tried caring for me in their weird way I guess, they kept trying to force feed me fish. Umm, no thanks. By 5pm I was feeling a lot better so I ate some bread to make them happy. But then I threw it up. I went to school yesterday, but only to 1 class because I still didn’t feel good. I didn’t wanna be a burden or have them force me to eat so I just hung out in our little room the IMME kids have.

I live with cockroaches and I thought they were attacking me the other day. It was quite funny because I started to freak out until I realized I was in my mosquito net and there were no bugs anywhere. I did have one jump on my head the previous day though so I think I was still a little freaked out by that.

The IMME students are going on another weekend trip this coming Friday. We are going to Rakai, it’s close to the border of Tanzania I think. Should have another update next week, but I do have a project due on Wednesday that I won’t start until then, but hopefully an update will come your way sooner rather than later.

I forgot to mention this 2 weeks ago, but my mama’s sister died of AIDS. And she had a friend die this week. Please pray for her as she is going this hard time.

The One Where I Tell Stories

2009-01-30T05:49:00.007-08:00

Time is flying by these days. I can't believe another week has ended.

There is this annoying noise everywhere I go. It this beeping, it sounds like the game catch phrase if you've played it. None of us could figure it out until I finally asked one of the interns what that beeping is. It's a bird!! I couldn't believe it. It sounds exactly like the beeps on catch phrase. It's so annoying! I am gonna find a slingshot and start shooting them.

So this spider that was living in my bed decided it was lonely and needed a friend. Through a mosquito net and blankets, it managed to bring in a mosquito. I woke up in the middle of the night and my feet were itching like crazy. I had to climb out of bed and smother my feet in benedryl cream and put on socks. Thank the Lord for that stuff! I fell back asleep and the next morning had many more bites on my legs. I have a ridiculous amount of bites all over me. I seriously tried counting but it failed. I was able to count my left foot though- 22 bites. I seriously look like I have chicken pox.

I got to take my bath last night with a couple guest-- a dead gecko and a live cockroach. I did not take my eyes off that cockroach. I also electrocuted myself last night. At first I had no clue what was happening to me until I let go of the plug. I didn't want my family to know because they would have freaked out, so I had to act all cool. That's hard to do when you think you are gonna pass out. It ran all the way through my finger, up my arm, and to my body. I guess I learned my lesson. When plugging in my computer, I should not plug it into an outlet while touching the exposed prong.

I love my family here! I've never had a sister so it's kinda cool now that I have at least 3 or 4 or 5. I honestly don't even have a guess on how many brothers I have (some are tecnically cousins but in this culture they are brothers) everyone comes and goes and I don't know who I have met and who I haven't. I still haven't figured out this family, but I am getting closer. I know Judie and Rachel the best. I share a room with Judie and we have even started to "rough house." Just what I love...
Boarding school is very common here and holiday is ending soon. I am aware of one brother leaving, Simon. It will be very sad--he is one I know. He will be in Jinja and wants us to visit, so we will try since it's only an hour and a half drive.

I am gonna end with a really funny and embarrassing story. It happened my first week here but I had somehow forgotten about it until the other day.
So I had just woken up and I wasn't paying much attention. I went to the bathing room where there is usually a bucket of water so I can wash my face (don't forget i was tired and not paying attention). I started washing my face and half way through i realized the smell was not right, like awful. I looked down and realized I had been washing my face with PEE!! What happened is the pee bucket that is used at night (too dangerous to go to outside to the bathroom) somehow ended up where the water one usually is. And the worst part is, it wasn't even my urine!!! But, don't worry i thoroughly washed up after that.

I am gonna add an advertisement on here. I love getting mail and I know a few of you have asked for my address, so here it is. Padded envelopes or something similar gets here faster. I do enjoy getting drink mixes & toliet paper!

Michelle Welke
Uganda Studies Programme
Uganda Christian University
P.O. Box 4
Mukono, Uganda

The One That is not about my day.

2009-01-27T22:21:00.002-08:00

I write this blog in response to a previous comment that read:

You are wise way beyond your years. As you study the world, you'll learn that all cultures have something in common with a belief in God. As you'll find, most peoples of the world are good people and profess their beliefs in God in different ways. There are truly no wrong religions, just people doing wrong things in the name of their religion.

In response:

Hmm. This is interesting and I appreciate this. First of all, let’s take the word religion out of this. Many people get stuck on the word because people who have a religion have hurt them and the definition of this word religion is so broad. In the end, all that matters is the fact that God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins because of the love God has for man, something we cannot begin to comprehend.
I was talking about God revealing Himself while you were mentioning the different beliefs in God. So, what about people who are atheist and think there is no such thing as a god? Also, what do you think about death… like, what happens once one dies? If there are those who deny He exists or don’t believe Jesus came to earth as man and died on the cross and rose again, what happens to them?
I wish this all could be simple and everyone could be saved, no matter their beliefs. But if you take a look at this world, you can see lots of love and good, but also lots of evil. The evil that fills this earth causes hate and confusion.
For this part, I am going to bring the word religion back in. But before I do, I want to give it a definition so we are talking the same. For now, I am going to go with what E. Darkheim defined religion as: A unified system, of beliefs and practices into unity. So, if there are no wrong religions how do you justify those that believe in destructive gods? Like the Aztecs or here in Uganda, some believe they must sacrifice children. To them, these horrible actions are the right things in their religion. Who gets to say when these are right or wrong actions? To them these actions are good and to us they are not.
Some Christians try to bring God down to the human level where He is not. They (including myself) like to pretend He is our neighbor or friend rather then someone to submit to. Even if one does more good than the next, this does not make one better than the other, not in the eyes of God. Because we all have sinned and have had done evil, having fallen short of the glory of God.
In this world, there is good and there is bad. Ever since evil first entered the world in Genesis, there must be good and there must be bad. God gave us the honor of making own decision of faith in Him and Satan takes advantage of this. The devil wants us to be confused and fall away from Christ so he can have control over us instead. Every time I sin, Satan gets a point but I already know what will happen in the end, God will win.
This whole discussion brings a curiosity upon me, is it easier to say peoples’ actions are wrong or right, than it is to say whether there is a good God who created this world and His Son died for us or that there is no god at all?
In the end, the one thing that matters is whether the individual believes in his heart that Jesus died on the cross for us. I do not have religion, nor am I “religious”. Rather, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord. Every day I struggle to turn completely away from sin, but God loves me no matter what. This must be a strong love because why would He still want me after the day is over and I disobeyed Him a countless number of times, and even for some time denied His existence? This is just a tiny glimpse of how vast His love really is. There is no way to fully understand this because I am merely human. I have to have the strength to turn towards His open arms and run away from the temptations that lie before me. I must turn daily back to Him and everyday He rejoices I am forever His! And I pray the same for you.

Now, it’s your turn…what do you think? I would love to hear what you believe, not arguing, but merely having a conversation. All of you.

The One With The Nile

2009-01-27T03:03:00.019-08:00

Another weekend has come and gone and I had the opportunity to join the rest of the IMME students on a journey to Jinja- the Source of the Nile. We had the privilege of staying at a nice resort on Lake Victoria near the beginning of the Nile. We even got to take a boat from the resort to the Nile. In the picture, you can see the ripples/bubbles of water, this is said to be the exact spot where the Nile begins.

Friday evening, some local missionaries came and talked with us about their ministry. They do a prison ministry with both of the local prisons (in the pic), which I could see across the lake from the resort. They also have other ministries but, they are not what their main reasons for coming to Uganda. I learned so much about the ministry and even some of the way prison and court systems here work. I must say, it is all very corrupt. Basically, whoever has more money to pay someone off, wins. Example: A man is married to 2 wives (polygamy is still commonly practiced) and the husband dies of malaria. One wife accuses the other wife and her eldest son of killing him. They are both sent to prison and to be executed. The accuser wanted all his land and knew these 2 people would be in her way of inheriting everything. So she paid off the judge and just like that. The mother and son are both sent to jail for life. Sadly, this is a true story and the mother and son are still in prisons across the lake from one another. There are many innocent people in jail and many guilty not today. However, these missionaries have an amazing ministry and have really made an impact here. The prisons used to be really dangerous...they had 20 guards at a time and after 11 yrs of ministry, they are down to 2 because of the faith in Jesus Christ the prisoners are finding!! Praise Him! They told many stories but sadly I do not have the time nor the patience to sit here and type them.

After the missionaries left, the 16 of us got out the guitar and sat by the pool praising the Lord for hours. As worship was being sung, a team of missionaries on The World Race (they go to 11 countries in 11 months) came up to us and began talking with us! It was an amazing time of worship and hearing about God working in their lives.

I understand why everyone stares when a Muzungu walks by, I stare when a white person I don't know walks by. It seems so strange. We always seem to say hi to one another too, it's quite funny.

Saturday was an interesting day. We went to meet some other missionaries in Jinja and learned about their work in the country. One of the missionaries took us on a "tour" of Jinja. It was not the typical kind of tour one would go of a city. It was better, I learned about Jinja in a way you wouldn't know otherwise. It was a tour of God and culture. There were a total of 5 stops:

1) Stop #1: the Nile river. We looked over the river and talked about its' vastness and the use of it during Bible times. He read scripture and left us to contemplate it.
2) An area of town that was the Ugandan Hollywood in the 50's. Indians came here with money and began strong businesses, they were making a great living. A previous ruler of Uganda was racist and decided they could not live in his country. They were killed or kicked out and their homes were abandoned and are very run down now. When the Indians left, the economy suffered severely and it is still not back to what it was. The picture is of a house that was left behind and raided, now there are 20 Ugandan families living in it. The entire area looked like this. It was kind if eery. The millions of bats flying around in the daytime added to that. He read a verse for us to contemplate on for a while before we went to the next stop.

3)The next stop took us to a fishing village on the Nile. It was a slum. It was dirt poor and right next door, literealy, was a yacht club where people keep boats that cost more than these people will ever make. To enter the yacht club, you drive right down the path through these peoples homes. The village has the work of the devil amoung them. Almost every woman and child is abused. The village is in chaos at the moment. The missionaries are trying to slowly start working in there but the presence of evil is over-powering at the moment. Pray. Soon they will come to know Jesus. If you can see in the picture with all the kids, there are 2 choking one another. This is a pit of sand that the kids don't just play around in. They were actually fighting. They were very rough with one another. Many kids were crying.

4) We went to an area where they make objects out of metal. It was really cool. The guy who took us on the tour knows these guys pretty well. The locals tried to buy all the women and 1 man tried to sell me an auto car that he put together. Yeah right. Like I am gonna wanna buy a car some dude randomly made.

5) The Jinja hospital. This was a hard place. He had us each go into a different ward and pray over patients. This is nothing like a hospital in America. It's a room with beds crammed closely together. Basically, if you know what a war hospital looks like in the movies then you can imagine this one. There are no machines for the patients and it smells awful. They have to have someone bring them food if they want to eat b/c the hospital won't. If you want to see a doctor alomst immediately than you have to bribe the doctor, there are only 4 for the main hospital of the town. The missionary had a friend in there recntly who waited 26 days before seeing a doctor. There were many patients in there who I could cure with the money in my pocket. When I first entered the ward, I talked with the nurses to make sure it was ok (there were 2 nurses for 50-60 patients). They were thrilled and asked me to pray over them first. I was honored. Because of time, I only had enough of it to walk down one wing and pray over it. As I was leaving the nurses where worried about me not going down the other wing, so I said screw time, I am praying for these people. So I did, people were intrigued and I had the privilege to talk with families. It was hard leaving. I could have spent all day there.

We had free time once we got back to the hotel, many people swam and took HOT SHOWERS! We all went out to dinner and had a debate/opinion/reflection time about the day. Dinner was amazing-- I had garlic bread and pizza!!! After 2 meals a day for 2 weeks eating rice, matooka (smashed, cooked non-sweet bannanas), goat fat, and beans. Of course, my intestines did not enjoy it the next day. Oh, how fast bodies adapt.

The following Sunday, we were able to visit a Baptist church. The 3 hours of fellowship flew by and was amazing! One lady shared her testimony, quite spectacular as well. And 3 people accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into their hearts!!! We also had a time to talk with the pastors and staff after the service to learn more about their ministry in the town and surrounding villages. It was quite amazing!!

The Church of Uganda is depending less and less on foreign aid. They are starting to take over. I pray they continue on with this strength and no leaders with a corrupted heart get in there.

We came home and 5 of us climbed monkey hill which is partially on campus. There were monkeys everywhere!! I will hopefully post pictures of them soon. Monday morning 5 of us climbed it again to watch the sun rise, but it ended up raining and was cloudy. Eventhough we didn't get to see the sun come up, God allowed us to see a sweet lightning storm and have a blast with one another.

I have to get going now. Hopefully I write more later this week. I am gonna post some more random pictures from the weekend later too.

Peace.

The One with Faith and Action.

2009-01-25T05:21:00.001-08:00

I am back from my weekend trip to Jinja, but I am not gonna blog about that until tomorrow. Today, I want to focus on something different. The following are some realizations I had last week. Some are from a class I found interesting.
- I under estimate the spiritual aspect of this world. The devil and God are both at work under the surface. It's amazing how much I have not, and still do not realize this.
-God WILL fight for me. He is a jealous God.
-God's revelation is not complete without Africa or any other culture.
- The greatness of God cannot be grasped.
-I have brought Him down to my level and that is not where He belongs. He is not my friend, He is my God.
-God has been revealed in every culture but not necessarily the same revealing. The entire truth cannot be known until Heaven. It is our decision to see His little piece of truth we have the privilege to see.
-As he is slowly revelaing more about Him; we know so much more now than they did 2000 yrs ago.
-There is no possible way to fully understand God.
-There is a line that needs to drawm in todays American culture and I must stand firm on my feet. I cannot get hazy in where I stand!
-Now is the time to repent becasue tomorrow could be too late.
-If you are ruthless in religion, you are going to be ruthless with everything. Even in secular societies, religion is ingrained. God is ingrained.
-If I am not uncomfortable, than I am not fully opening up to God. There has to be a willingness for the messy stuff or growth cannot be possible.

So, these are just a few things that have struck me. I don't have much time but perhaps I will get more tomorrow.