Welcome to the United States.

 In Morocco, there were about 4 or 5 passport checks to get through the airport.

            Those in front of us were stopped and intently checked.

     All except for the initial check, they did not even open our passports once they saw the cover saying “The United States of America”

 In countries like Morocco or Uganda, westerners are often treated like celebrities.

                                    As least, this has been my experience.

As I was going through customs in Atlanta,

I noticed signs saying “Welcome to the United States”

It took me a while to realize them, but once I did I couldn’t help but find them to be of great significance.

Although to me, it means very little.

       I am an American.

            I’m not worried if I have the next meal or if my family has to sell me to afford being alive.

            I know I’ll be taken care of.

To many around the world, the US is only a fantasyland.

                                    It’s a place where there is freedom.

                        This is something that will never be a reality to many.

            Seeing those words “Welcome to the United States” is a dream to many,

                        And yet, it’s something I don’t even notice or appreciate.

           I take too great of an advantage being from America.

No matter how messed up our government may seem or how low our economy appears,

                 we are still a land of freedom that attempts to bring justice.

            We are still considered wealthy because we have food.

                                             We have some sense of security.

We have freedom.

Seeing the words “Welcome to the United States” will never become reality to many who suffer because they were merely born in the wrong land.

I must stop taking advantage of this great wealth I was born into.

      I am so blessed just by being an American citizen and I don’t even realize it.

Can you imagine what is running through the minds of those who are desperate to make it to America and actually do? 

What are they thinking when they see the sign "Welcome to the United States"? 

Jesus, show me.

Peace.

The One with Spain.

Life moves fast.

     I’m currently on a plane back to California to begin my final semester at Biola.

           

Spain was a wonderful adventure.

                        I especially loved our side trip to Morocco!

Before leaving for this journey, my mom and I were talking and she said not to wear a cross necklace into Morocco.

I kinda laughed and just said I didn’t even own a cross necklace.

            I have no idea what prompted her to say this.

                        Fast forward.

Jenny and I were in the subway station on our way to the Madrid airport to catch our flight to Morocco, when my necklace randomly broke.

     It’s one of those long necklaces with a variety of random pieces.

What I didn’t realize was it had a cross hanging off the end.

Noticeably, the biggest part of the necklace.

                 With a simple swipe of my purse, the cross broke off.

         It wasn’t until I picked it up did I realize what just happened.

    I instantly remembered what my mom had told me a few days earlier.

                                                Crazy.

            I guess God was watching our backs. More than I realize I’m quite sure.

            I loved Morocco.

We just wandered around, met some crazy people and learned more about the culture.

Spain was random.

              During the days I wandered around Madrid while Jenny was at her internship.

     I saw most of the city. 

One early morning, I sat in the park (which reminded me of an English garden), reading Pride and Prejudice. It was a foggy morning with the sun shining.

            It was the perfect setting.

      I felt like I was in the story.

            I don’t speak Spanish.

It was pretty ridiculous trying to communicate with those who didn’t speak English.

                I think if I could watch my awkwardness, it would be pretty funny.

Jenny turned 21 while I was there.

            I loved being able to be there to help her celebrate.

 

Jenny is a pretty awesome friend; I’ve known her since I was 4.

                        I’m glad I was able to visit her in Spain.

Peace. 

The One with the Recap

I always have this great plan to blog weekly, but as you can see, that rarely happens.

So I’ll give a quick recap on these past few months.

The Villa.

I live in a house with 5 other girls and it has been a huge blessing! We are all intercultural Studies majors and get along great. We have a fabulous time together and I love going home to them.

Missions Conference.

I have the senior director position of Biola University’s Missions Conference, which is completely student run. It has been such a blessing!! For those of you who don’t know, Missions Conference is a time every spring where Biola cancels classes for 3 days and we bask in Jesus, our call as Christians and to hear what’s happening in this world. This year we are trying something new in the planning process where my co-director and I meet with every department on campus. We met with 42 professors, administers, and/or department staff throughout the fall. Such an honour! Every single one of those meetings was unique and God showed me how blessed I am to be at a school with such quality and God seeking people. I am in awe of Him and don’t deserve to be at this school studying under people who truly seek more of Jesus.

Missions Conference is coming quickly (16-18 March 2011) and there is still a lot to do as we finish planning, but we have a wonderful staff of 90 who are stepping up and going above and beyond their call as staff. Another blessing! I am so overjoyed by the people God has led to Missions Conference. It’s been a privilege to work with our staff, I wish I could personally get to know each staff member, but time limits me.

Virginia Beach.

In October, I got to fly to Virginia Beach. My brother and his fiancé are attending law school at Regent University. My mother and I both flew out there to help Liz go wedding dress shopping. It was fun to see their new lives and to help her dress shop.

Thanksgiving.

This year I spent thanksgiving in skid row. A friend and I went down the day before and spent the night on the roof of the Union Rescue Mission. We didn’t go down with intentions of being helpful or anything, we just wanted to spend the holiday in skid row. We ended up serving in the kitchen both Wednesday and the day of thanksgiving, they needed help and we volunteered. But the majority of our time we just wandered the streets. I met some new friends, my favourite, Garberville Bill. We talked with him for quite a while. He was abducted by aliens 2 years ago and told me all about the good aliens and bad aliens, he says they’re just like good people and bad people. You see there is a fight-taking place in outer space between these aliens. According to Bill, there is a battle for planet Earth because it’s the best planet in all the galaxies since we are the most resourceful planet. But the good aliens are protecting us from the bad aliens taking over. If you ask me, this sounds a lot like angels and demons. Garberville Bill has been on drugs since the 60’s so he has some interesting stories and has a big heart. He is definitely one of my favourites.

Tattoo.

I finally got a new tattoo. My housemates and I were in Hollywood to celebrate the end of finals when some of them wanted to go dancing. The other 3 of us didn’t so we decided we would get tattoos while we waited. I got the word ‘freiheit’ (German) behind my right ear. It means freedom. This word means a lot to me. There are several reasons why that I won’t go into at the moment. In the midst of getting the tattoo, it hit me that I was a getting this tattoo, one with great meaning to me, in the middle of Hollywood, a town that desperately needs true freedom.

Spain.

I am currently on a plane to Madrid (hence the long update). My oldest friend Jenny is currently living there so I am going to visit her. I am ready for another great adventure! On Friday, we are going to Casablanca, Morocco. I’ve always wanted to go there, so you can imagine how excited I am! God is good and always provides!

More later.

Peace. 

The One with Evil.

Lately I've been really angry about death.
The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get.
          I hate how our loved ones leave this planet.
             I hate the pain and brokenness we experience when one dies.
     I hate the hole the deceased leave in a person.
         I hate how broken my heart is over this.

This causes me to think about the root cause of death, sin.
                          evil.
   I am angry I listen to the devil and go against God.
             I am upset I can't just say no.
   I hate that I desire darkness over the light.
      My soul is troubled by evil.
 
   I am constantly realizing how naive I am.
          There is so much evil and pain in this world.

There are serial killers, there are people selling other human lives into a slavery, there is genocide, there is rape, there is abuse, there are human sacrifices, and a million more evil deeds to be added to this list.

I sit here in America, in my comfortable house in southern California with pure freedom when there are people in this world who have never had a day where they don't have to wonder if they'll live to see tomorrow.

I hate this.
     I am bitter towards God right now.
            I am bitter because I can't achieve world peace.
    I am bitter because so many people have lost their innocence.
I am bitter because He gave us free will and we follow the devil instead of Him.
       I am bitter the devil roams this world.
                  I am bitter because I am evil and have no self-control.
    

The Screams of my Soul

I'm in the middle of writing my senior thesis, which means I shouldn't be blogging. But I can't write this paper right now because of the passion burning deep within my soul is way too overwhelming right now. My thesis is on Hollywood. It's on the need for Jesus to reign there. It's on our Missions Conference theme, which I will explain at some point (I've been meaning to), SET US ABLAZE! It's an intercessory prayer taken from Isaiah 63-66, specifically 64:1-2. It's a prayer for Biola, for LA, for the world! This passion the Lord has given me for Hollywood connects with this theme. 

Hollywood is in a state of desperation and they have a great influence on this world. They need to be shouting the name of Jesus from mountaintops. People will listen. Hollywood is so broken. It's breaking my heart. God is breaking my heart for them. (trust me, I've been trying to run from it, maybe I'm Jonah...) My soul is screaming out to Him. My soul is screaming for this industry, my soul is screaming with passion, my soul is screaming with hope. 

Sorry I'm rambling and this probably makes no sense but I'm so overwhelmed by His love and glory and the desire to see His name spread like wildfire through Hollywood and to the ends of the earth, I can't really make clear statements. Hence, taking a break form my thesis. 

 

I long to see Him declared King by all! 

JESUS REIGNS! He is so good! 

(I decided pictures makes blogging more exciting. I think I'm going to start trying to add one to each blog)

 

Break My Heart for what Breaks Yours.

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my Heart for what breaks yours

Some of you may recognize these lyrics (it’s a song by Hillsong).

The past few months, I’ve been asking Jesus to break my heart for His nations.

I want to see with eyes of love.

He’s been doing just that.

Jesus has been showing me a bit of His heart.

There is so much pain and suffering in this world, in my own backyard.

This past weekend, I had 2 very different experiences.

Friday night, I went down to skid row.

Of course, I’ve seen this brokenness before and there is a sense of comfort I find in it,

I think that’s because I feel close to Jesus when I’m with the homeless,

perhaps it’s because Jesus was homeless.

Saturday night I went into Hollywood.

This is a very different [yet similar] brokenness I saw.

I’d never been to a place like this before in America.

My friends wanted to dance and I wasn’t about to miss out.

While we were “good Christian girls,” I couldn’t help but observe everyone around us.

The longer we stayed, the more everyone around us drank.

By the end of the night, I could no longer be in the club.

My heart was crying for these precious children of God.

My spirit became so heavy, I could barely breathe.

At one point I thought I was going to throw up from the heaviness in my chest.

I walked outside to wait, to search my heart, and to pray. [And to take off my heels]

My heart was breaking.

I was overwhelmed and couldn’t comprehend what just happened.

A little while later we went home.

The next morning at church, my pastor spoke about reaching our local community

and taking seriously the privilege we have in being apart of the body of Christ.

I was still so broken about what I saw the night before.

While I knew that people go “clubbing,”

It wasn’t until I stepped into their world did I understand what this entails.

It breaks my heart this is what many do on a weekly basis, sometimes several times a week.

I was shown another piece of darkness, but the spirit was with me and protected me [my friends too].

The torment in my soul was the battle of good and evil.

Jesus protected me. Jesus brought me closer to him. Jesus showed me more of His heart.

As the message closed and worship began, I couldn’t get the faces of those made in the image of God from the night before out of my head.

I began to cry for them.

I cried because they need to meet Jesus.

I cried because they are seeking truth and haven’t found it.

I cried because Jesus’ heart breaks for these souls.

I cried because my heart was broken for them.

And then as I sat in the presence of God, I cried more because of the cross.

It hit me hard.

God had to turn His back on His only son while Jesus hung on the cross bearing the sin of the world.

I’ve known this, but it never broke me like this before.

I can’t imagine the pain and emptiness Christ felt.

He did this for me.

He did this for those precious children in the club.

He did this for Jackie Chan.

He did this for Osama bin Laden.  

God is Love. 

The One with the Beginning of the End.

I've been back in Los Angeles for a week already. School begins in the morning and my schedule has already been full. It's going to be an interesting year with everything I have, especially Missions Conference. I am honoured to have been chosen as the MC co-director and to be in SMU. I have loved connecting with my co-workers this past week. I look forward to a year of great friends, classes, work, and even relying on God for strength to make it through the stressful times.

I live in a house near campus with 5 other girls. They are a wonderful group of girls pursuing a more intimate relationship with Christ. I have truly been blessed. We have a great house for entertaining and I can't wait to have Biola appropriate parties :).

Another chapter has begun in my life and I look forward to living it, but it's going to be a challenge to balance now and planing for the future. I want to live in the present but I already find myself thinking a lot about the end of next May -- graduation. I hope I don't forget to live now and take full advantage of my last year at such a wonderful place.