Suffering and Heartbreak.

I've been heartbroken and devastated by poverty, malnutrition, and orphans.
    I've spent time amongst it before, but I've never focused so much of my personal time on it-
               attempting to follow Jesus through it.
   Jesus is using Clayson, a hurting orphan, to break parts of my soul I didn't know exist.
Clayson is about 6 or 7 and very sick.
     He has little emotion,
        speaks bare minimum,
           and has barely any energy.
   The 3 of us girls took care of him for 4 days last week.
           He is pitiful.
     It took a lot of work, but we got him to smile and dance (awkwardly).
        It was such a gift to see him smile a simple smile.
                    The kind I so easily take for granted.
Honestly, I think he has been sick for so long he doesn't know what it is to be a normal, playful little boy.

Dancing with Jean Fritz 

We are attempting to figure our what is eating away at his tiny body in order to get him the treatment he needs.
       The doctor at the local hospital has run several tests and nothing comes up.
    He is negative for HIV, praise the Lord.
He still has a few more tests here, but the doctor thinks he needs to see a specialist.
     
The first night we had him,
       Adrian and I were getting Jean Fritz and Clayson ready for bed.
  I was changing Clayson's clothes and saw his tiny skeletal frame holding his body together
     and something deep within me broke.
                   I cried.
This innocent boy hasn't even had a chance at life and he has already been through so much.
      He's lost his daddy and his mommy,
being left alone in this scary world with his sister.
            And yet, his pain continues.
     Something is slowly eating away at his tiny body
         and it's not fair. 

Getting X-rays

Clayson's hurting body

        Whenever he would cling tight to me with fear I held him tighter, afraid to let go.
   Constantly afraid he can so easily slip away forever.



   Pray for Clayson and for wisdom for the doctors.

   

Me, Jean Fritz, and Clayson. Clayson was fascinated by the computer. 

This is his smile. 

Peace.

Akim and Ensel go to Port.

We took 2 of our younger boys with us to Port-au-Prince a couple weeks ago.
     Akim and Ensel.
          It was their first time to the city.
    They were very excited and stood up on the bus looking out the window the entire time.
          Haiti is their country and yet I've seen way more of it than they have.
   I've lived here for only 5 weeks and they've lived here their entire lives- 12 years
and yet, they have never seen their capital until we brought them along.
         Being with them was very humbling.

Sitting on the bus- this lasted for 5 minutes. 

Ensel looking out the window.