Break My Heart for what Breaks Yours.

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my Heart for what breaks yours

Some of you may recognize these lyrics (it’s a song by Hillsong).

The past few months, I’ve been asking Jesus to break my heart for His nations.

I want to see with eyes of love.

He’s been doing just that.

Jesus has been showing me a bit of His heart.

There is so much pain and suffering in this world, in my own backyard.

This past weekend, I had 2 very different experiences.

Friday night, I went down to skid row.

Of course, I’ve seen this brokenness before and there is a sense of comfort I find in it,

I think that’s because I feel close to Jesus when I’m with the homeless,

perhaps it’s because Jesus was homeless.

Saturday night I went into Hollywood.

This is a very different [yet similar] brokenness I saw.

I’d never been to a place like this before in America.

My friends wanted to dance and I wasn’t about to miss out.

While we were “good Christian girls,” I couldn’t help but observe everyone around us.

The longer we stayed, the more everyone around us drank.

By the end of the night, I could no longer be in the club.

My heart was crying for these precious children of God.

My spirit became so heavy, I could barely breathe.

At one point I thought I was going to throw up from the heaviness in my chest.

I walked outside to wait, to search my heart, and to pray. [And to take off my heels]

My heart was breaking.

I was overwhelmed and couldn’t comprehend what just happened.

A little while later we went home.

The next morning at church, my pastor spoke about reaching our local community

and taking seriously the privilege we have in being apart of the body of Christ.

I was still so broken about what I saw the night before.

While I knew that people go “clubbing,”

It wasn’t until I stepped into their world did I understand what this entails.

It breaks my heart this is what many do on a weekly basis, sometimes several times a week.

I was shown another piece of darkness, but the spirit was with me and protected me [my friends too].

The torment in my soul was the battle of good and evil.

Jesus protected me. Jesus brought me closer to him. Jesus showed me more of His heart.

As the message closed and worship began, I couldn’t get the faces of those made in the image of God from the night before out of my head.

I began to cry for them.

I cried because they need to meet Jesus.

I cried because they are seeking truth and haven’t found it.

I cried because Jesus’ heart breaks for these souls.

I cried because my heart was broken for them.

And then as I sat in the presence of God, I cried more because of the cross.

It hit me hard.

God had to turn His back on His only son while Jesus hung on the cross bearing the sin of the world.

I’ve known this, but it never broke me like this before.

I can’t imagine the pain and emptiness Christ felt.

He did this for me.

He did this for those precious children in the club.

He did this for Jackie Chan.

He did this for Osama bin Laden.  

God is Love.